it leaves you working on your prejudices and learning to respect your partner as an individual. Which, IMO, is a great thing because it shows the value you place on your relationship.Originally Posted by jess(SO)
Just remember one thing. We lie because of the prejudice. If the prejudice did not exist, we would never think of lying, there would be no need. So the prejudice comes first, and we react as all rational persons would, we hide the issue to avoid the irrational fears of others, just as you now lie to everyone around you by hiding your husband's crossdressing.
So you point out some crossdressers lie and yet you are doing the same now yourself. Do you want to be in this position? of course not, but neither do we. It is a tragedy for both the crossdresser and his SO.
The evil here is the prejudice, this is the source of all the problems. We all naturally absorb the prejuduces of society and it is a difficult thing to block out and overcome. It takes time and patience but I believe if the SO really loves their partner, they will succeed.
However, even if you do, you still face the unsavourary prospect of living in a society which is still overwhelmingly prejudiced against us. Though there are new laws in place to protect our rights, in reality society does not recognize them, we are still openly mocked because being prejudiced against the transgendered is not recognized as a bad thing unlike racism, sexism, religious bigotry etc. Apparently some prejudices are more evil than others....
Until society learns to frown upon prejudice against the transgendered, there will be no incentive for people to change as there is no public shame about expressing prejudice against us. The only ones who have an incentive are the loved ones who find out about the crossdressing. Often these people feel cheated as they have the hard work to unravel their prejudices and lie when nobody else around them has to. Understandably they would have prefered the easy route of not having to deal with this issue in the first instance.
Everyone agrees crossdressers need to come out of the closet, we need to come clean so it is unavoidable and unfortunate that some SOs are going to be caught up in this process. Hopefully future generations will not have to go through this pain.
