Has any one been with a guy?

[Tamara Croft]

I agree that my post was a little insensitive, and I apologize for anyone who would feel excluded by my comments.

What I mean to say, is that these threads seem to start well but quickly seem to degenerate into a bunch of guys in dresses that if actually offered a chance to be in a loving relationship with another guy wouldnt actually consider it.

I think you were right in the first place and I agree, these threads always turn into nothing but sleezy threads and who'd done what with who and cheated on who etc, etc,... and its bloody appauling.

Imagine you are inviting your family or friends for the first time to this forum and they came across this thread... everything you've told them would have just gone up in flames and out the window... We aren't interested in your sex lives, you don't see us posting about them out here... well most of us 'GG's' don't... nor do we go posting intimate things, but we're reading it all the time out here, on this open, public forum for the whole world to read...

And then there's the cheaters... cheating on their partners... more crap for the GG's/SO's/Partners to try and get their head around. You know, we have enough to deal with, finding out our partners' CD etc... nevermind having to deal with everyone elses bloody fantasies and cheating and God knows what else you do.... Oh and Puh-lease.... give up with the 'well it's all to do with cd'ing'... sorry to burst your bubble people, but sex was around a hell of a lot longer than crossdressing :rolleyes:

[Sky]

Barbara,

I just think that "what if" threads not "what is" tend to just be a lark and not something that the members are really dealing with.

Very true. But so what? You don't believe everything people posts in the Web is true, right? (maybe 5%? even less?)

I think some of these stereotypes about only being able to overcome ones inhibitions and allow out a latent same sex attraction out while dressed is why the actual gay community doesn't take us very seriously.

But you can't erase an inconvenient truth. Some cds do feel an attraction for the same sex (some only while dressed, some all the time). It doesn't look as if our biggest issue is with the gay communty (although there is prejudice among them, like everywhere) but with the "straight" majority. And I don't believe we will overcome their mistrust by presenting a choirboy image (no Catholic priest-related pun intended). We are what we are.

I hope this post I made about my suggestion for where to move threads like this and why is more thoughtfully stated. I would welcome suggestions in what I had to say to be more inclusive.

My humble suggestion is, do not worry about moving posts anywhere. Leave people be. If you are concerned about the image the community projects, I think you already know that a large percentage of sexual oriented posts are mere fantasies, but that should not be the point. If a guy dreams he is in an orgy every time he wears panties, and feels compelled to write about it, let him go for it. The moral majority does not need that as an excuse to outlaw crossdressing. And hiding our dirty laundry won't help our case anyway.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

I am rather mixed on this question. Yes I have been with several men since making my debut as a public female. Two were very good orally and yet I haven't seen either in quite a while. I think they went down the gay road but to each his/her own.

One was an out of town business man/cd with whom I spent the night at his hotel. No sex - for some silly reason neither of us was 'up' for it. We laughed at the porn chan he paid for on the hotel tv. He also took me to dinner at a nice chinese restaurant in the hotel. I was treated a proper lady all the way and loved it.

The last one is a gay friend of mine. I rather enjoy pleasing him for his enjoyment but basically, while I am willing to play, i still much prefer women. T-girls are next and guys a definite last place for me.

All three have something for me and I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the experiences but in the long run, if I had to choose between being alone and being some man's woman, I'll chose being alone.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Barbara,



Very true. But so what? You don't believe everything people posts in the Web is true, right? (maybe 5%? even less?)

But this forum is open to CDers, their family and friends. If they visit here out of confusion and/or concern, then yeah - they'll believe it!

But you can't erase an inconvenient truth. Some cds do feel an attraction for the same sex (some only while dressed, some all the time). It doesn't look as if our biggest issue is with the gay communty (although there is prejudice among them, like everywhere) but with the "straight" majority. And I don't believe we will overcome their mistrust by presenting a choirboy image (no Catholic priest-related pun intended). We are what we are.

Some non-CDers are gay or bi. Some Cders prefer their chips with ketchup. The point is that CDers are no more prone to being gay or bi or vice versa. This thread perpetuates a myth that is very damaging for those trying to find acceptance within a straight relationship.

I came here wondering why some GGs had such trouble accepting CDing and where all the myths about, "He must be gay" or "Can I trust him?" come from. Now I know!

My humble suggestion is, do not worry about moving posts anywhere. Leave people be. If you are concerned about the image the community projects, I think you already know that a large percentage of sexual oriented posts are mere fantasies, but that should not be the point. If a guy dreams he is in an orgy every time he wears panties, and feels compelled to write about it, let him go for it. The moral majority does not need that as an excuse to outlaw crossdressing. And hiding our dirty laundry won't help our case anyway.

I wouldn't want to see CDing hidden, I'd love to see a day where anyone of any sex can dress according to whichever gender they feel like associating with on any particular day. While this sort of thread and attitude exists, CDers will continue to hide because nobody would consider taking them as anything less than sleazy.

Just to reiterate before someone takes offence... I called nobody sleazy, CDing is not sleazy. The comments on this thread are - and that is being perpetuated by CDers themselves - NOT society!

Nobody cares what you wear as long as you know who you are and as long as you're trustworthy, open and faithful. I'm only glad that those posting on here are in the minority.

[Alex!]

Been with a guy? Yikes. No way. Guys are nasty

But for others - go forth and be merry. The pursuit of happiness, as Thomas Jefferson once proclaimed in a famous document, should be our primary goal.

[Sky]

Is there any particular reason that these fantasies need to be trotted out to everyone, including the GG's who frequent this area?

Because it arouses the author. Not you, or me, or anybody else.

None of the gay men I know are even remotely interested in a guy wearing a dress.

That only means you don't know every gay man out there. And by the way, many people attracted to cds don't even consider themselves gays. Don't ask me if that is technically right or wrong. I don't care about labels.

Sorry, I guess this just escapes me....

More humble advice: just open your mind. There are a gazillion variances of sexual orientation, and every one of them makes perfect sense to some people. Just accept other people does not have to think like you.

[Dee Talbot]

That is correct, I don't know every gay man out there. And as far as opening my mind......puleeesssseee!!! You know nothing about me, so what gives you the right to pigeonhole me as closed minded? I am allowed to be open minded whether I understand someone else's fantasies or not. Not understanding does not mean intolerant. It simply means, it doesn't make sense...TO ME. I am quite certain, that there are many open minded crossdressers, gay/straight/bi/lesbian, for whom another person's fantasies don't make sense. If you can't understand where I am coming from....does that make you closed minded? Think about it.

As to writing fantasies on an open forum if the author gets a kick out of writing fantasies that is justification for anything? And, again I ask....what has this to do with crossdressing? That sounds like a man who gets off on writing sexually explicit works, and there are plenty of outlets online for that. Guess what??? There are even forums where they specialize in transgendered and crossdressing fantasy writing. If you are interested, I can direct you to several that I have actually been to and read. Read with an open mind no less.

Do you have a GG in your life whom you are hoping will accept your crossdressing? Do you have a wife, who if she saw this thread might wonder about your fidelity and sexual activity? Do you have a friend or relative who you might want to direct to this site, in order to help them understand why you dress irrespective of your sexuality? You seem to have overlooked the fact that several of us who have posted a distaste with this thread have done so for these very reasons.

Just because the forum is crossdressers.com, does not automatically make this place a sexually charged one. Again, being a crossdresser may have a sexual component for many. That doesn't make this sexual for all. By assuming it is primarily sexual, that then paints the stereotype that crossdressers are all doing this for a sexual thrill, which is incorrect.

Why not do this in the private forum??? Is the thrill more about the titillation of having others read one's sexual escapades? Or is it really about the author writing. If it's actually about the writing, then doing this in the private forum should be no problem. If it is about sexual exhibitionism.......then post away:rolleyes:

Dee

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Or better still...

If it's about writing erotic stories, is there not a writing forum? (I've not visited it myself so can't say whether this sort of thing fits, but at least visitors and friends/family could see the difference between fiction and reality.)

[Sky]

You know nothing about me, so what gives you the right to pigeonhole me as closed minded?

Your writings.

As to writing fantasies on an open forum if the author gets a kick out of writing fantasies that is justification for anything? And, again I ask....what has this to do with crossdressing?

The fantasies are about crossdressing.

You seem to have overlooked the fact that several of us who have posted a distaste with this thread have done so for these very reasons.

If you don't like it, don't look at it.

Why not do this in the private forum??? Is the thrill more about the titillation of having others read one's sexual escapades?

Yep.

Or is it really about the author writing.

Nope.

[Ema1234 GG]

The fantasies are about crossdressing.

I beg to differ, these fantasys are not to do with crossdressing they are about having sexual relationships with men. :rolleyes:

[Shelly Preston]

[SIZE="4"]Would those posting please keep to the topic[/SIZE]

[Ema1234 GG]

If you don't like it, don't look at it.

And what about all those new GG's looing for help and advice during an extremely confusing time. Would you like them to be under the impression that a major part of crossdressing is to do with sleeping with other men?

Is that what you want? To potentially destroy the opportunity to allow a GG to accept and support her partner. I doubt I would have registered had I read this thread. Infact, I'm sure I would have jumped to conclusions about my own partner.

Think about the impression this thread gives to people who are new to concept of CDing.

[Dee Talbot]

Well then, play on!!!!!!

And again, you know nothing about me. My writings, which clearly have not really read, only picked out those things which you choose to put your own spin on, have nothing to do with the way you have stereotyped me.

And for each and every CD'r who has a wife that is totally skeeved out by this sleazy thread, my heart goes out to you. Apparently, it is more important to share one's every kinky sexual thought than it is to be welcoming to all.

For all of those who actually are fortunate enough to find a loving relationship with an SO of any gender, I wish you all the best. I hope you are able to find someone and can be faithful in both heart and mind to that person.

If you find you cannot, then I am afraid you may find yourself doomed to living out fantasies on an online forum.

Dee

[BarbaraTalbot]

Why is that I don't see posts from transitioned FtM women agonizing about whether they might or might not be interested in males. Pre-op and post-op whatever their desire was before sexually is the same after. (Although the labels change)

After a transition they are women. At that point it is absolutely no issue about crossdressing, they have transitioned, they now have alignment between their inner feeling and their exterior. I am sure that I have never heard of a transitioned person for fun putting on the clothing of the former gender just to explore a different sexuality.

Some transwomen like women, some like men, some like both.
That doesn't change if they wear a prom gown or a pair of overalls.

Just because some of us get a charge (me included) from our dressing just implies that we are more on the CD side of the spectrum than TG. What we do under the influence of the pink fog is still a reflection of who we are.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

I beg to differ, these fantasys are not to do with crossdressing they are about having sexual relationships with men. :rolleyes:

Ahhh, but you seee - it's not.

It's umm, well...

Yes, it's about sleeping with men, but only if they're dressed as women, which is fine because that you see, is CDing, and not being gay or bi you see.

Nope, not one bit.


But that's OK, because I've learned from these forums that I am a lesbian who has lesbian sex with a man.

Anyone got some aspirin?

[Kieron Andrew]

Why is that I don't see posts from transitioned FtM women agonizing about whether they might or might not be interested in males.

you mean transitioned MtFs not FtMs i hope

[Sharon]

Once more with emphasis:

[SIZE="4"]Would those posting please keep to the topic[/SIZE]

The last page or so of posts are more suitable for another thread. How about we return to the original topic and not question its validity since this forum is for both heterosexuals and homosexuals.

[Kieron Andrew]

But that's OK, because I've learned from these forums that I am a lesbian who has lesbian sex with a man.

Anyone got some aspirin?

lol you forgot the part about lesbian sex with a man that happens to be dressed as a woman, now i too need an aspirin and im allergic lol

[Amber CD]

I've been with a guy while dressed, and even though we are both submissive, I was the dominant one that night.

If I did it again, I'd much rather be with a dominant CD. Someone who can lead the way and make me feel like a woman.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

lol you forgot the part about lesbian sex with a man that happens to be dressed as a woman, now i too need an aspirin and im allergic lol

I think that's what I meant - I'm not sure anymore! But we found a way around that - from now on, I'm nicking his PJs and we're having straight sex. I can't be doing with all this confusion...

[Elsbeth]

No, never been with a guy and wouldn't want to.

<Austin Powers voice> Chicks for me, yea baby! </Austin Powers voice>

I want what I want, as Elsbeth or that other guy. I'm only sexually attracted to females. And I find it hard to fathom that sexual orientation would change based on clothes. But I'm sure others find it hard to fathom that I am occasionally Elsbeth. So to each their own.

El

[ReginaK]

Never been with a guy. Don't care to be. But I wouldn't mind being the guy with a another CD.

[MsJanessa]

Never been with a guy. Don't care to be. But I wouldn't mind being the guy with a another CD.

Or the CD with another CD?

[michelleinhighheels]

yes : if i am going to be with a guy i am a dom.woman and i am all ways in control.he will do as i say. now on the other hand if it is a g.g. lady then i will do most any thing she wants. as long as i can play dressed as a woman.if it is with another cd then what ever happens happens.

[Ellie]

I've not been with a guy just yet but I am looking forward to a fun little encounter. My GF and I are really more interested in playing with another CD/TV rather then a masculine guy but we'll see how things go.

Right now I've working on a side project that is taking up my spare time and preventing me from dressing up... much :winking: