Bisexuality & Crossdressing

I tried to stay away from responding here mostly I find I say the wrong thing. I just recently messages a few girls in regards to this topic before it was on here. Thank you for your replies as well. My first time out with a guy was about a year ago. It was I wanted to feel how it was on a date as Sara. I had a great time, much more then if I was in boy mode. Being alone with him I felt kind of a liberation, hard to explain. At the end of the evening he kissed me and I found I responded which later I found how confused I was. Since then and more recently I have been out with a man I've been seeing for a month or so. It has changed me or maybe I was always this way and afraid to act on it or subpressed it. He is the most fun and I feel so relaxed with him. We have kissed and very slight sexually, but I do think about it with him . At times I find it's not fair to him to not be or do what he may want. I'm told by other girls not to act on it, until I'm sure.

So anyway back to the topic I never thought I was bi or gay or what labels are put on it. I'm sure what ever it is I was always like this and Sara has brought it out and it is me. I'm not so experienced with men but I'm most relaxed , comfortable, and fun as Sara with a man.

So anyway I'm glad I put my two cents out here. I read all your posts and since here go back and read old ones as well and you all have been so great and helpful for me. Thank you all.

One very last thing that Reine said that I too wonder about is why a girl gets so sexy in dressing and makeup and when she attracts a man, she is insulted.. She must see she will attract men. Anyway thanks again all of you.

Love Sarac

I would label myself (and I hate labels) as a very bi cd/tv girl. My first sexual experiences were with girls when I was in my teens, and I enjoyed that very much. I also enjoyed dressing pretty beginning at 10yrs old or so with my sister’s lingerie. I began buying some of my own lingerie at about 13 or so. I remember buying my first teenform bra at Dillard’s in the young junior dept. I also began buying panties and camisoles and half slips too. I was hooked. As I continued to dress more and more and every chance I got, I began to wonder what it would be like to be a girl/woman in every sense of the word.

As I continued to dress more and more, I began communicating and meeting with others like me who dressed. My “first” as to a guy or cd/tv meeting happened when I was 19 and he was mid 40’s. I know. save it…he took advantage of me, used me…blah, blah. I was nervous, excited and everything else that goes with it. We got together to dress up in lingerie together. I dressed fully as a fem and he in just bra/panty slip and stockings and light make up. It was a great experience. I was young but ready to experience things as a woman would. I wanted the full fem experience….and I got it.

He was gentle and kind. We started by just dressing together (he enjoyed me modeling lingerie outfits for him), then he asked me a lot of questions, like had I thought of becoming a woman full time, when I started dressing, what kind of fantasies I had, what I thought about being and doing with a guy. I was honest and told him I identified more with the female role. He wanted me to have the female experience that I thought about for so long, and I wanted it. The relationship quickly moved to a sexual one, and I was willing and wouldn’t change anything. He taught me/instructed me on how to best please a man sexually. I learned to become a submissive woman to him. I did this all as a fully dressed woman. I would meet with him frequently after our first meeting and it was great fun. I will never forget how fem and girly I felt dressed as a pretty fem and addressing his needs, and how much of a woman that made me feel like. There is nothing like it.

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Originally Posted by anna36b

I would label myself (and I hate labels) as a very bi cd/tv girl. My first sexual experiences were with girls when I was in my teens, and I enjoyed that very much. I also enjoyed dressing pretty beginning at 10yrs old or so with my sister’s lingerie. I began buying some of my own lingerie at about 13 or so. I remember buying my first teenform bra at Dillard’s in the young junior dept. I also began buying panties and camisoles and half slips too. I was hooked. As I continued to dress more and more and every chance I got, I began to wonder what it would be like to be a girl/woman in every sense of the word.

As I continued to dress more and more, I began communicating and meeting with others like me who dressed. My “first” as to a guy or cd/tv meeting happened when I was 19 and he was mid 40’s. I know. save it…he took advantage of me, used me…blah, blah. I was nervous, excited and everything else that goes with it. We got together to dress up in lingerie together. I dressed fully as a fem and he in just bra/panty slip and stockings and light make up. It was a great experience. I was young but ready to experience things as a woman would. I wanted the full fem experience….and I got it.

He was gentle and kind. We started by just dressing together (he enjoyed me modeling lingerie outfits for him), then he asked me a lot of questions, like had I thought of becoming a woman full time, when I started dressing, what kind of fantasies I had, what I thought about being and doing with a guy. I was honest and told him I identified more with the female role. He wanted me to have the female experience that I thought about for so long, and I wanted it. The relationship quickly moved to a sexual one, and I was willing and wouldn’t change anything. He taught me/instructed me on how to best please a man sexually. I learned to become a submissive woman to him. I did this all as a fully dressed woman. I would meet with him frequently after our first meeting and it was great fun. I will never forget how fem and girly I felt dressed as a pretty fem and addressing his needs, and how much of a woman that made me feel like. There is nothing like it.

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That is amazing. Wish there were more girls like you out there

I considered myself bi-curious, that is, until I met a guy for coffee who said he was interested in me as a CD. We started going on dates, really just coffee at the mall, but with me underdressed to the maximum and the occasional mascara and light lip gloss. After he took me shopping at Victoria's Secret I knew I was getting to a point of no return and a date or two later, we started with foreplay. I felt totally like a teenaged schoolgirl, but had absolutely no regrets. Eventually, our dates became meets at a hotel where we would sleep together and even now we meet every other month or so with him as the man and I as his woman. I wouldn't change a thing; it's exciting, fulfilling to be the woman in the relationship and everything I have dreamed of as a CD. No doubt about it, I was bi-curious at first and now I know I'm fully bi:) I enjoy being the woman in and out of my dress:)

Of Coarse!!!!!! your not an oddball in my view. :)

I have been a crossdresser for most of my life and I am bi-sexual also. When dressed en femme I like to have relations with men. Strangely, I am not particularly attracted to men and do not find myself admiring men when I see them in public or in any other venue for that matter. I find that women are attractive and I admire a well dressed and well groomed woman. I have never understood this and would be interested in others opinions.

I suppose I am Bi too if bi means aroused by the oppasit sex, because I do get sexually stimulated seeing guys in panties and other lingerie and of coarse I like it too. I just have no desire for intercourse with anyone besides my wife.

When I am dressed I absolutely adore men, I will make a fool of myself and like to act out the role of female completely. However, when back as a male, I can take 'em or leave 'em. I'll look occasionally, but that's it.

Weird huh?

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Why would a CDer who is not into men, dress to attract them as if he was? :strugglin

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Isn't that the ultimate passibility test. A male drooling over the "virtual" woman that he isn't ever going to have? If Drushin can get a guy hotter than a pistol at the OK Corral, apparently she passes---big time and in style. That's like a hole-in-one (no pun intended).

" Short skirt or dress, long panty-hosed legs, big breast forms, long wig, tall heels, perfumed, talkative, standing with my legs apart. " (and six-shooter in a side holdster). This reminds me of a Jane Russell pose. That would be "smokin' hot" from a males perspective.

As a GG, I find this very confusing.

I just wish if you want to be with men, you would just own it.

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

As a GG, I find this very confusing.

I just wish if you want to be with men, you would just own it.

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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THANK YOU! I couldn't agree more. Men who want to be with men, regardless of their attire, are gay. Clothing doesn't make one gay, genetics does. This nonsense debate is killing me, and yet I continue it.

I also find I want a man when I'm dressed up. But It goes deeper than that for me. I want it all. I want to be a women top to bottom. And know all the right things to turn him on and rock his world, make his day and night. So I guess that makes me gay. But when I do end up with a man I'll do my best so he'll remenbers me.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

As a GG, I find this very confusing.

I just wish if you want to be with men, you would just own it.

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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Except it doesn't work that way, if it did this thread wouldn't exist.
For BI guys it might be simple inhibition loosening, coming out as 100% gay isn't going to change anything.

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Originally Posted by busker

Isn't that the ultimate passibility test. A male drooling over the "virtual" woman that he isn't ever going to have? If Drushin can get a guy hotter than a pistol at the OK Corral, apparently she passes---big time and in style. That's like a hole-in-one (no pun intended).

" Short skirt or dress, long panty-hosed legs, big breast forms, long wig, tall heels, perfumed, talkative, standing with my legs apart. " (and six-shooter in a side holdster). This reminds me of a Jane Russell pose. That would be "smokin' hot" from a males perspective.

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This may seem like male-bashing (even though it's not), but a GG friend of mine told me a joke some years ago that I laughed at. She said, "If you want to get a guy, make it red and make it big". lol

In other words, guys (according to this dictum) don't discriminate. They don't look at the finer details ... as long as it's red and it's big (or in your example, short skirt, long legs, big boobs, long hair). It could be the ugliest GG, or even a CD who looks like a guy, but as long as they have the boobs, the hair, the legs, and the skirt, AND it's red (lol), he'll be interested .... provided of course that she (or he) puts herself out there like a carrot.

If I were a CDer intent on being seen as an alluring woman, I would not feel flattered attracting the attention of a guy who doesn't see my female self and who doesn't care that I'm a guy, but instead is attracted to the skirt, the legs, the boobs, and the hair that anyone can put on. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by silow

I also find I want a man when I'm dressed up. But It goes deeper than that for me. I want it all. I want to be a women top to bottom. And know all the right things to turn him on and rock his world, make his day and night. So I guess that makes me gay. But when I do end up with a man I'll do my best so he'll remenbers me.

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Just make it red and make it big, and put yourself out there like a carrot. You'll do just fine! :)

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Originally Posted by Momarie

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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What would you prefer I call it? I'm bisexual. I like men AND women. That IS the term for it.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

I just wish if you want to be with men, you would just own it.

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

THANK YOU! I couldn't agree more. Men who want to be with men, regardless of their attire, are gay. Clothing doesn't make one gay, genetics does. This nonsense debate is killing me, and yet I continue it.

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What judgmental, blanket statements from both of you. I too get my eyebrows arched at the "only want to be with men while dressed" argument, I think there's some denial or compartmentalizing happening there possibly. However, to dismiss someone calling themselves bi or bi-curious as candy-coating it, or completely dismissing them with blanket statements that they are gay, is frankly so limited a mindset that I can't believe I just stumbled upon it here in a forum for transgendered issues where we should all be a little above that.

Bisexuality exists, and people who identify as bisexual are owning up to their sexuality by identifying as such. They're not candy coating it, they're self-identifying. To dismiss their sexuality as being simply unable to own up to being homosexual is just not fair. If someone is comfortable and happy with how they identify and they're honest about it and not hurting or betraying someone who cares about them, who are you to come on here and say that it's nonsense.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

If I were a CDer intent on being seen as an alluring woman, I would not feel flattered attracting the attention of a guy who doesn't see my female self and who doesn't care that I'm a guy, but instead is attracted to the skirt, the legs, the boobs, and the hair that anyone can put on. :rolleyes:

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I think you're really hitting the nail on the head here Reine. I personally don't get dressed up with the intention of being picked up by men, but I have gotten it occasionally if I go to a "trans night" type thing that attracts admirers, or when I posed for the pictures I mentioned in a previous post. There's a moment where it feels kind of nice but it is fleeting, because my brain quickly reminds me that the attraction isn't to me or because I've passed and fooled anyone, but it's purely objectification of me as a "t-girl." I never feel like they see the woman in me, I always feel like they see the man dressed as a woman and that's their attraction. It makes me feel fairly empty about it.

Shocker, RD nailed it again. Men objectify women, that's not news but men objectify everything so a hot looking CD is no different than a hot looking motorcycle or whatever. Every guy that had ever been interested in me has been under no illusions that I was a GG. They knew, they just didn't care and I'm waaaaaaaay more passable than the average CD for sure. How is a part time CD going to pass up close? Believe me ladies, they know.

Momarie is not denying bisexuality, she's just pointing out the silliness of a closet queen trying to justify her attraction to men. It's the chorus of the "I'm straight except" crowd. They label themselves (straight) and then whine about being labeled when someone points out that they may not be straight. The truth is, nobody cares if you swing both ways. I feel like we owe it to each other to call BS on bogus justifications because it's not cool to let somebody you care about just continue to fool themselves. We should always be working towards open honesty or what's the point of the forum?

This forum is overwhelmingly closeted and conservative as far as I can tell and that's not the best combo for openness and self acceptance, but that doesn't mean it's any less important.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

Momarie is not denying bisexuality, she's just pointing out the silliness of a closet queen trying to justify her attraction to men. It's the chorus of the "I'm straight except" crowd. They label themselves (straight) and then whine about being labeled when someone points out that they may not be straight. The truth is, nobody cares if you swing both ways. I feel like we owe it to each other to call BS on bogus justifications because it's not cool to let somebody you care about just continue to fool themselves. We should always be working towards open honesty or what's the point of the forum?
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Well, please recall I quoted two people there and not just Momarie, so some of what I was saying applied to Jenniferathome who did say that if a man was attracted to another man he was gay, and thus was disregarding bisexuality. However, Momarie also listed Bi as the first example of what in her words are candy coating labels. So she either chose very poor wording in trying to get her real point across, or she was saying that someone calling themselves bi is candy coating and not owning up to their own attractions.

Either way, it deserved to be called out, imho. I think there's a very big difference though in what you are saying in your post here, which I agree with, and how she phrased her post and how the response that I also quoted ran with the point. She used three terms before she got to the point you're making.

[QUOTE=JiveTurkeyOnRye;2758266]What judgmental, blanket statements from both of you. I too get my eyebrows arched at the "only want to be with men while dressed" argument, I think there's some denial or compartmentalizing happening there possibly. However, to dismiss someone calling themselves bi or bi-curious as candy-coating it, or completely dismissing them with blanket statements that they are gay, is frankly so limited a mindset that I can't believe I just stumbled upon it here in a forum for transgendered issues where we should all be a little above that.


Please listen...

I am just saying whatever you are, own it.
When one isn't honest with themselves, it is harmful to them and sometimes hurtful to others.

I don't care who is what and I doubt anyone else does either.
If you're attracted to men, so what?
Have fun and enjoy it, give yourself permission to be who and exactly what you are.

P.S.
"What judgmental, blanket statements from both of you"
I don't think I deserved that.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

I don't care who is what and I doubt anyone else does either.
If you're attracted to men, so what?
Have fun and enjoy it, give yourself permission to be who and exactly what you are.

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Apparently you do care who is what. Otherwise, you wouldn't be upset about "candycoated" labels. However, I daresay I can't label myself any more clearly than bisexual. (Which you claim is a candycoated label) I'm not gay, since I like women, and I'm not straight, since I like men. Perhaps you could clarify what label I should assign myself that is accurate and not candycoated.

I think what bugged me, is that your statement implies that there is only straight or gay. That sort of negates my existence. (and no you don't deserve to be called judgemental) but, some clarity on your statement would be helpful.

I certainly "own" who I am, and in fact I do so quite bluntly when someone questions my sexuality.

Sexuality is fluid. I identify as bi, but my biggest attraction is to other CD's. To choose between women or men depends on who we're talking about but also my "mood" (if you will). I detect a note of "fear" by some members about whether or not they might be gay or bi. I find that a little surprising. Liberation means not allowing the dominant (white male het ) paradigm to govern our true feelings! I'm trying everyday! Also could someone clear up for me: I thought GG meant genetic girl? But reading a post here it seems like it means something else. Thanks. And thanks for being here! Alone-ness is sometimes difficult.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

As a GG, I find this very confusing.

I just wish if you want to be with men, you would just own it.

And quit calling it so many candy-coated labels...bi, bi-curious, male lesbian, I only want/desire/crave/am attracted to men when dressed etc.

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Heteroflexible
Trisexual
Bicurious
Pansexual
Bigaystraightual
Male lesbian
Sweetsexual
Asexual
Heterogender

To clarify to Jive Turkey & JodyCD on how this can be confusing.
Please don't deliberately misinterpet my meaning, there is no need to invent controversary, when plainly none was intended.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

Heteroflexible

Please don't deliberately misinterpet my meaning, there is no need to invent controversary, when plainly none was intended.

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On the contrary. I'm not attempting to misinterpret anything or invent controversy. I'm trying to understand what is wrong with my sexual identification of bisexual. Clearly I am missing what you are trying to say, that's why I said you didn't deserve to be called judgemental, and asked for clarification. I'm just trying to figure out how referring to myself as bisexual, I am somehow sugarcoating it. It's a statement of who I am. I'm not at all implying that you see things black and white as only gay or straight, I stated, that it appeared that way in your statement, and asked for clarification.

Bicurious, pansexual, and asexual are all valid though.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling anyone out.

PS:
I'm ultraliberal, nobodies heart bleeds like mine. :P