Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen7cd
:eek: WTF! ... I think you guys should concentrate on "the quality of the wine inside, not the shape of the bottle it comes in!" :thumbsdn:Quote:
Originally Posted by msbrownskinned
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen7cd
:eek: WTF! ... I think you guys should concentrate on "the quality of the wine inside, not the shape of the bottle it comes in!" :thumbsdn:Quote:
Originally Posted by msbrownskinned
well saidQuote:
Originally Posted by Rachel Morley
Really well it's a funny way of showing that by having a go at his wife's weight, and by saying he's a better looking woman than she is...yeah right we only have his opinion on that. :Angry3:Quote:
Originally Posted by SheriM
And some of you wonder why your SOs don't want anything to do with your cding, is there any wonder!!
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
Nicole Erin,
Is you answer for Everything Divorce ??????????
Crazy !
Ladies , pick apart the posts , this isn't real.
Presh GG
Really then why did Debs marry me last Oct ............... grow upQuote:
Originally Posted by msbrownskinned
To the op you are damn lucky your wife only hid the car ............. I wouldda had some one tow it home ...........
Some people need to remove the Rose colored glasses they wear when they look at themselves when dressed and use the same eyesight they do when looking at the partners in a negative light :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:
wow , this kind of got carried away!
I was always told if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it.
always sounded like good advice to me! :2c:
People come in all sizes. Not every one can be a size 2. with that
said, I believe that beauty starts behind the eye balls. It is what
is her head, not on her shape that should attract you. An old saying
I have herd before; "You mary her Irish Temper, Not Her Red Hair"
Just my 2 cents worth. Rader
Hmm...seems I have missed all this. I seem to remember more posts that say something like "You should tell your wife to accept this or you are gone." or "Your wife should take you for what you are and suck it up" or "How could she even THINK to react that way (after she found your porn and the guy you hid under the bed while you were dressed up last time)"Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
I think the majority of time the CD gets the sympathy. But maybe I don't read all the posts?
Welcome Paige, but you will see that usually the way it works is in the sage wisdom of the movie Roadhouse "Be nice until it is time to not be nice"
Wow, lots of comments and information. Karen, I am wondering if you can imagine the betrayal your wife is feeling to find out that her own sister has been helping you keep this little secret. So what happened between you and the S-I-L to make her rat you out? You say she knew you dressed did she have some rules in place that you also might have abused, maybe like don't involve my sister? :eek: I guess my big question is what were you thinking to turn to her sister to help you dress, if she was cool with you dressing in the first place? Blood is very thick and that was a huge problem just waiting to unfold on you and catch you up. Not too smart on your end. The next big mistake you made was to bash your wife. You won't get any support or help on this forum taking that stance. The others that made the same critcal mistake to join you, also opened themselves up for whatever they got/get. You got caught and to minimize it with a negative comment about your wife is not going to change that. If you are all that concerned about her health issues I am sure you could show it in a better way. My wife is very thin and has made many negative comments about my own weight, but when she did/does it, I can assure you the affects of the comment never fostered a positive attitude about myself or my desire to become healthier/loosing weight! Weight or not there is no way in hell I can in my happiest dream ever think I would look better than her, if that is your thoughts then you have a great deal of delusional problems to work on. Yet slamming her in here or other places is just wrong. The whole post got deluded because you chose to deflect your own guilt, and take shots at her. We stopped being able to help you because another innocent GG has been slammed by her CD husband because he was just plain to much of a wuss to be honest! So what do you do now, speak to your friend the pastor, get her involved in the conversation? Why purge when she already knows what is going on? I mean she already knows! What is that going to fix. You can now openly have a dialogue with her about your dressing and maybe work towards some resolution. Yet the resentment and attitude that you have jumping to deflection towards her is more of a message that you are so far over your head now that you have little chance of fixing all of this mess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
You are the most ignorant self absorbed person I have had the displeasure to meet on a forum. To hear you, his wife is a fat pig bitch who will only get worse, and he should run for the hills. Forget about the fact that she was lied to and that he went out dressed after promising her that he was never going to do it again.. Regardless of what you think, the whole world doesnt understand this. I myself am just coming to terms with what I am.. Yes, WHAT, not WHO.. I know who I am.. But what that means as to the "Label driven society" is another ball game.. I can't expect my wife to understand this as much or more than I do, when I lied to her, and kept it secret for over 15 years.. think about it.. As far as his wife is concerned, this was some fetish that he supposedly stopped doing. Now, as to reality, I believe this is a trolling post. to get everyone riled up, but you did a much better job than the troll did.. so congrats..
Pastors can be oddly sympathetic. However, I'd quit the church if it gets too awkward or if you'll never gain acceptance. As the member of a previously troubled marriage, divorce is not the end of the world. You probably won't ever be over this even with therapy. The best you'll ever get is control but you'll never enjoy anything else quite like this. If your wife can't accept it, I say move on to find someone who can. Just make sure to tell the next person you date before you get married. Having a fat wife doesn't excuse crossdressing but it does equate on some level. Your wife was displeased with your physical appearance as you are with hers. Obesity and crossdressing are a choice so I wouldn't feel too guilty there.
Karen I'd like to give you a kudos for keeping your cool despite all the mud slinging going on in here. No one here knows your wife so I don't really see why we should care if you're honest.
Just to let you know, on most days there are more anonymous visitors to this site than there are members who are logged in. Some of them are wives who perhaps have just found out their husbands CD.Quote:
Originally Posted by frederica13
A post such as the OP's does not give a good first impression of what TGs are all about. But, the majority of responses in this thread will redress any potential misinterpretations. :)
Better to be thought a fool,#@%^$, then to say something and remove all doubt. Wow I hope your wife finds this site so she realizes. She married a jerk who cross dresses. I honestly think you need to work on accepting your reality before you work on repairing the relationship with your wife. If she would even want to Once a person has been lied to by someone that claims to Love them things are never quite the same. Good luck.
Later Scarlet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ze
thats how I see it.... and he also broke rules 1 and 2..NEVER trust family with PERSONAL secrets
and 2: NEVER EVER GIVE A SPARE SET OF KEYS TO YOUR CAR TO ANYONE!!!! have a spare set for emergencys like when you cant find your masterset, but the emergency set is hidden on the vehicle somehwere only you can find... be that under a body panel like a fuel door, or attached to a frame rail ect...
so rather than continuing this lecture.... how about i sic my wife on you.... dood she would tear you apart... and she for the record is 5'5, 155lbs, but 46 days ago was 196 lbs... and if you were "enfemme" AKA probably looked like a TV.. and called her fat, you would be staring down the barrel of a .40 S&W... and she would have had 13 hollow points, 1 of which would be chambered and ready to fire.. and thats no lie... ive done less and gotten the same treatment...
as for your little purge.... your stupid... what a waist.. you said that they were her clothes from the get go... so she is now also out her clothes as well.... doubling her frustration
[SIZE="3"]Wow... what a thread! So to sum it all up, the OP obviously went out dressed despite knowing the wife might find out and would be upset. So you're purposefully deceiving your wife (why else have spare clothes, wipes, etc in your car) and are amazed she's upset? You're bitching about her telling the Pastor but you have no problems going to lunch and spending "girl time" with her sister? You don't think THAT might be an issue? No, of course not. Its ONLY about the dressing. It could never be about the lying, the humiliation or the fact that you seem to prefer her sister's time over hers. In case you didn't read that correctly, its called sarcasm.
And perhaps you don't look as good as you think you do if your wife feels you looked more like a drag queen than a woman. Just like you don't think she looks good because she's a WHOLE 15 lbs heavier. How sad that someone is so shallow as to publicly put down someone they claim to love.
But then there's this:
Nicole, I'm really disappointed with this post. You know, when I first started reading your comments, they were light hearted, sincere and funny. You were a very no-nonsense kind of person. But this post is just...depressing. Its obvious your general attitude lately has taken on a great deal of sadness and I feel for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
Yet posting that everything is one sided on a forum like this is rather silly don't you think? I mean, first off, the majority of people on the forums are TG (TG being the encompassing TS and CD definition here). There's no way they are not going to get the majority of the bashing when they are the majority. Of those on here that are not TG, 99% are GGs (as such a small percentage are family and/or friends). The GGs on this forum are here to either understand their partner and/or support them. This already makes those of us here NOT YOUR FRIKKEN ENEMY! THAT'S why GG bashing in here gets pounced upon! Because WE are supporting this community and if you want to pick on a group of people how about it NOT be in front of those who are trying to HELP!
I'm sorry but its extremely hurtful that you have to say something like that and make it sound as if no one on here says anything bad about GGs. Obviously the OP did and damn right he should be pounced on. 15 frikken pounds. Oh boo frikken hoo! And to think there are some on here who cannot even find a partner much less bitch about their love handles. As if everyone on here has a perfect body and therefore has any right!
Sorry Nicole, I think that your comment of immediately seeking a divorce as oppose to attempting to work something out with someone you love is very cynical and reflects a lot of what you are personally experiencing. I also think that your comment regarding GGs only stands to prove that you are letting it make you very bitter in the world. And that is not good my friend. Not at all. [/SIZE]
I had a very similar thing happen to me with my ex. Her and a bunch of her friends got a hold of a picture CD that I had burned several years ago. There were 5 or 6 pictures of me in all out drag (makeup,heels,skinny jeans, bra, etc...). Apparently her sister was the first to see, and that stupid bitch decided not to tell anyone what she saw, and gathered her whole family around the 50" big screen in the living room. She then proceeded to insert the disk making several comments on how much I especially would like this video. 2 seconds later the slide show started and the laughter that followed went on forever. I was totally speechless, thoughtless, mindless, and paralyzed from my eyeballs down. Nevertheless, my point is that all of us are Crossdressers and we share that same feeling at one point or another in our lives. Use your humiliation to begin the long and hard process of comming out to your spouse. You never know, it could have been soo much worse. Cheer up you'll be fine.:love:
OFFS !!!
I'm begining to see red here ...and I won't apologise for my rant either . Firstly , whats all this chatter about divorce ? I find the whole issue a bloody insult . We all have problems , but surely the first instance in any relasionship in trouble is surrender , sit down and at least try to sort things out . Even if it means bringing in a third partie to mediate . If divorce is such an easy option , then why on earth get married in the first place - not as if the oaths could have been taken that seriously was it ? I'm fed up with reading time and time again how people take the pee out of matrimoney with insults and then divorce , but worst of all deception and lies . What on earth do trannies , tv's , call em what you like expect if the SO finds out about his little " hobby " in a horrific situation ? Can't it be seen it,s not the act of wearing femanine attire , but the deception and lies that cause all the trouble . I think in support of all the GG's on here trying to help real people over coming troubles and concerns , that there should be a little more respect for starters . Calling women names is an insult . The way I see it , IF youre man enough to wear a dress then bloody well own up to it to youre partner and not act like a squeeling child when it all goes belly up . If i get a ban then I get a ban ....but it's the truth isn't it ???
Oh I am going to address one reoccuring comment. Where did I say my wife was fat. I never did. She is overweight, to the point that is is unhealthy, and painful to her joints.
She is working out and I do anything she will let me to help her. Like making good dinners, having healthy snacks, not ever saying anything to her about her weight.
I offer to workout with her. I have supplied her with a home gym, workout machines, a weight room. When I made the appearence comments, I was very hurt.
She is and I hope to always be the only and most beautiful woman in my life.
Dammit, I had a reply written out and it was eaten by my fail-computer. It boiled down to:
You're arguing semantics with the "fat" comment. Nearly everyone here, as you may have noticed, lost sympathy with you because what you said was, in fact, f**kin' WORSE than a simple "fat" comment.
Let's see it again, just for kicks:
How can you NOT think this is freakin' terrible? And then you try to justify your thoughts and words by telling us how good you (not her!) have been in trying to help her with her weight. Hysterical, you're a saint. I hope you can get some help with your relationship, but you got a long way to go with the ego you've shown here.Quote:
My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible.
No? you just said it to 30 thousand members on this board instead... and maybe your wife will read it...Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen7cd
Yeah right, if you thought that, you wouldn't have bitched about her body being terrible...Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen7cd
Keep digging that hole, you might get out of it one day, right now, you've made yourself look like an ass.
I guess she should have chosen her words better. I might hazard a guess that she was trying to say that she accepts her wife as she is, just wishes she would do better health wise. I am not trying to put words in any one's mouth. Just a perspective. I live with my own short comings first then everyone else's. Should she have taken his car? No I don't think so. This whole situation seems to be an out of control mess because no one is communicating on the same level.
The rules - true, those are good for anyoneQuote:
Originally Posted by nikkijo
And the gun talk - yeah I am sure killing someone over getting called fat is certainly worth going to prison. "Oh yeah well I have a big gun with hollow points blah blah..." Sounds like something my hick neighbors would threaten.
Gyod tough guy talk. :brolleyes:
For her purge, what was she suppose to do? Yeah it was a bad idea but in the heat of the moment, I mean who wouldn't freak? Then again, maybe KAren had some bad choice of clothes and can rebuild a wardrobe with better things.
Ya know, I think the comment that set fire in this thread was about the wife's weight. We know GG's are real sensitive about their weight and don't need to be reminded if they don't look like Barbie. In fact, a lot of TG are too, cause come on, we tend to have elements of a female mindset as well.
few years ago I posted photos of myself, I was at my heaviest at the time and later asked how I could improve my looks. Got a couple suggesting for outfits or changing hairstyle, that is fine. Thing is, what I heard more than anything was about losing weight. Several times in PM's.
So, doesn't that kind of show that people seem to have a preference for a thin woman? I mean my kind of lady actually is a bit more on the "woman's" size, but some don't feel that way.
KAren was just stating what most guys think but are afraid to say.
Also, Karen went out en femme, which is more than what a lot of members here will do. I go out en femme and live part time as a woman.
Those who don't have the gall to get out of the closet - you have no idea what those of us "out" go thru, if we don't pass well. Or the ones that do pass, they at one time had to deal with the BS at least til they were assimilated and passing well.
Here, here Paige! :iagree: I think it got way more than kind of carried away.Quote:
Originally Posted by Being Paige
My last thought on this - this whole "story" is BS and the thread should be removed. I was so upset at this, I got a "talking to" by Holly and my post deleted (right quick too).
My questiion is -- if the story is "hot" enough to incite reactions like mine, why wouldn't the thread be taken down?
My initial reaction to this story was -- "this "lady" is AWFUL" -- and about 4 paragraphs of me being pissed off. With a little more perspective - this story has a million holes in it, and was just put on the forum to flame people up.
It should go.
The thread isn't going to be removed just because you think it's BS. I think it is too, but what would be the point of deleting it? People need to realise that sugar coating peoples lies by deleting them, isn't always the best policy. Showing people that we care enough to stand up for a person who can't defend themselves imho is better than shoving these threads under the carpet.
I really like this forum, but some folks are scaring me. Cant we all just join hands and sing Kumbayah. Some times people say things that they wish they could take back. Sometimes they write things that they wish they hadnt. Sometimes I think in the safety and the anonaminity(I spelled it wrong) of this forum things are said that we would never say if we actually met or really new each other. And maybe some people I'm glad I dont know. True or false, this posting sure stirred up some angry feelings. I think I need a deep cleansing breath, and a little Sara McLachlan.
If the story is true then the originator made a bunch of bad choices that have led her to where she is now, including making a poorly worded statement about her wife that she never have been posted at all.
Based on reading what she says, which of course is only a fraction of the real context of her situation, it sounds like she has some very serious relationship issues to deal with above and beyond the dressing.
She needs to do some serious soul searching and think about good choices that she can make to move her life and her relationship to a better place. None of us know enough about her or her situation to even assess what course of action to advise other than lots of open honest communication and formal counselling with someone who understands both relationship and transgender issues.
That being said, hopefully the replies to her post will help her on her journey and perhaps be of benefit to others as well.
I have had threads deleted, but not cause of something like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crysten
My experience is when threads are put in the wrong section and made totally in gest is when they get deleted.
I don't know where the holes are, I mean it sounds like something that could actually happen and is probably not the first time someone went thru something similar.
i'd like to give my take on this, and i apologize in advance for the length of it. personally it appears to me that the outrage present (and certainly in my case this is true) is not because he said his wife is overweight (regardless of his intentions and/or actual verbiage) but because he seems to be saying that he was going out dressed because he looks better as a woman than she does, and that her body looks terrible. concern for her health is one thing, but let's face it, "...her body looks terrible" can not be construed in any way other than hurtful. furthermore, it is incredibly juvenile and inflammatory for a CD to attempt to blame their SO for what they have in most cases already been doing for a large portion of their life anyway.
and i do hear sentiments like this rather often from CDs, both in and out of relationships: i don't have, can't find, am not with, et cetera, a girl who looks the way i want one to look, so i make myself that girl, as much as i can. i KNOW that this is not why all of us are who we are and do what we do, but it is an underlying motivation for some. but to come right out and say something like that, especially in such a negative way, is counterproductive at best.
i'm not even going to mention the comment about "...when she caught me i was wearing her clothes!" another reason many SOs do not like our dressing is because so many of us use their things to do it. talk about an invasion of privacy! how would you expect a stereotypical guy to react if his wife took his power tools (without his permission) and used them to do her things, many of which said tools are simply NOT designed for? you think he will be cool with her using his 180 dollar dewalt cordless power drill to mix cake batter?!? oh, wait, i said i wasn't going to mention it, didn't i? oops
finally, even if the entire story is nothing more than a steaming bile of bovine excrement, the point remains that if someone is reading this forum hoping to gain an understanding of the CD/TG/TS world, the kind of negativity in the op and in any post bashing our SOs or GGs in general will. not. help. our cause.
I don't think any thread should be removed at the whim of the few.....I would subscribe to a system whereby we had the ability to 'vote' a thread off, but when threads are removed/locked because of one persons perceptions/prejudices, I get annoyed. However if the community disapproves, then I can accept that decision.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crysten
As for this thread, I've watched it for a while, and I agree that it sounds like a made up fantasy....thats why I've not commented on the subject, I couldn't be bothered
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.....Evelyn Beatrice Hall
Thankyou for this lottarosie, I just wished more would think like you do.
Absolutely. I have in the distant past borrowed some of my wife's clothes. However with it out in the open, I buy my own clothes and leave hers alone, and feel better for it. It's not fair to her. Of course, she does give me some cast-off bras and that's different :)Quote:
Originally Posted by lottarosie70
Some wives do not like the cding. I was one of them and probably would have reacted the same way. One boundry that I did set was that my CD hubby was not to be seen in public in the same town in full drag. In general society does not except this as norm for a guy to be dressed in drag and unfortunatly tounges will wag. OK we live in a very conservative country and this might not apply to some european countries. I think this was a cardinal rule that you unfortunatly broke. Maybe you can get away with it in a g/l bar dressed up but in broad daylight this could be a problem. She needs advice and unfortunatly has tried the church leader who possibly is going to be a bit bias and think that you mught be a bit gay(which is definitly not the case). Always remember that the CDing is not normal to most women and you need to compromise. Men that CD will never stop so she must never think that you will ever stop but rather get to accept it and you need agree to some rules and how, when and where you going to CD. Keep loving her and show her that you care...it might be easier said than done but if she is prepared to try and fix your marriage she will eventualy except the CDing. I am not a phycologist but this has been the solution for us. I think the weight issue was mentioned out of anger. I am a heavy person myself and it is not easy shedding the weight...rather incourage her.
First, thats an absolutely horrible thing to say about your wife..:Angry3:
Second, she had no business telling your preacher about it. Its none of his business.
third, you shouldn't have lied all that time to begin with. You play with fire, and eventually you get burned.
I wish you luck, I hope you and your wife learn from this, but since you think so kindly about your wife and her looks, maybe she can find someone that treats her better.
And as a side note, this is a perfect example of why so many people claim we are self absorbed and selfish people.
Just my two cents.
I have mining rights on that hole he is digging :lol2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
Hello Karen!
Boy did you get caught! I hope that things are starting to get better. Keep talking and telling her you love her and are not gay..etc. After about 6 months your life will start to return to normal. Good Luck!
Wow what an interesting thread! First time I've read it as I wasn't on here in a few days.
I have to agree that the bashing of a spouse, or any GG in one's life, was the incorrect thing to do, whether she's going to read this forum or not. You married her, Karen, hopefully for the reason that you love her and would stay with her through sickness and in health, and that includes a possible problem she might have had with her weight.
There are far more issues here than being caught CD'ing. It sounds like this marriage is in serious trouble, and that quickly purging wasn't going to save it. As for telling the clergyman/friend, it was probably her intent to tell him as your friend. As a non-religious person I see no benefit from telling a clergyman. Like finding or becoming more involved in religion is going to solve the "problem" that she feels CD'ing is. But telling him as your friend means you now have to be embarrased to see him when you hang out with him since he knows the personal secret that was divulged.
The sis in law you had to know was someday going to tell her sister (your wife) what was happening. Why wouldn't she? Their bond is thicker than the one you have with your wife.
If I were you I would find a way to end this marriage, but know too that as some said before, you've given her plenty to go on against you. It will take a very good and expensive attorney to give you any leverage in this case. The fact that you did bash her here, which can be viewed publicly by anyone, is another negative for you.
I haven't read through every single post in this thread carefully, so I can't tell whether kids are involved. It's going to be an uphill battle there too if you're ever to see them again if this marriage is dissolved given the comment you've made towards her, their mother.
As for retention of this thread, it would probably be in this original poster's best interest to have it deleted. However this can serve as a lesson to all to be more careful in what you say in a public forum, and how we should treat the ones we supposedly love. Unfortunately for you, Karen, you messed up big time, and now you can't be surprised when you have to pay the price for it. You already can't be happy with having purged (again not that it would help you) but consider that only the first of may punishments you will encounter. :(
Good luck to you, you'll need it!
Another Karen
Here's a post the same person made back in October.
It doesn't match the new story at all.
I have been crossdressing off and on since I was about 12. I have a real busy life and stopped for a few years. Now I am unemployed and looking for a job. My wife has been able to get some work. So now I am doing the dishes, cleaning, even some cooking. Last week I was finding no joy in the many tasks before me. I decided to dress up. It made all the work fun. I kept talking to myself "Don't quit bitch get it done". And I did. My kitchen and bathroom are clean!
Well I found a wig and started using it. For the first time I put on makeup.
Lipstick really feels good! My makeup made me look like a drunk hooker....
Need to work on that.
Last night I told my wife. She knew I have dressed a "few" times in the past.
I asked for help with the makeup. At first she said ok, but has backed away now.
So what I was wondering if there are any cd's out there or girls that would like to help?
Thanks,
Karen