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To say that genes have no control over behavior is to misapprehend the question. Genes can in some cases "control" behavior. But in most cases, genes can have an influence on behavior. The degree of influence can be quite significant. Simply because genes do not control behavior in the same manner as eye color, the role of genetics cannot be so facilely dismissed.
Although some members will disagree, a popular theory for the crossdressing (and not transsexualism) is that it came about by early sexual imprinting. People will say they are not sexual when they're little and it's true that little kids don't have sex. But one's sexual development does start in the toddler years:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel Morley
http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/...elopment.html#
Kids do discover quite early (3-5 years old) that touching themselves feels good for example. And I remember having intense crushes on boys at an early age, in fact I think that my first love was Mighty Mouse! Seriously. I was six years old. I can still remember the feeling when I heard, "Here, I come to save the day!" I would get butterflies in my stomach when I watched the cartoon. (And sadly, for most of my adult life I did believe that men's purpose was to save the day. I think I had a Cinderella syndrome.) :p
You describe some pretty powerful elements that might well have imprinted your eventual desire to crossdress: the intensity of the feeling as you tried on a piece of clothing worn by a girl you especially liked, and the excitement associated with the taboo.
A number of different things could easily imprint a multitude of CDers at an early age.
Not to go on and on, but my SO had an insight about how an insignificant incident when he was little, affected fears that he had as an adult. This has nothing to do with gender, but the principle is the same. Their family was driving in a rough neighborhood in a large city that was predominately black. He heard his father say, "I'm locking the doors". (Sorry for the non-PC story, but this was beyond my SO's control and it happened 50 years ago). Anyway, as a young man he often needed to pass through that neighborhood and he couldn't figure out why he felt nervous, until he remembered where that had come from when he was a child. A 2 second incident when he was 6, informed reactions he had when he was 20. For some reason, the urgency in his father's voice made a strong impression on my SO.
I think we are a conglomerate of our past experiences, even seemingly insignificant ones.
And this, can be the biggest problem. Even in therapy, we can only even consider that which we remember. All the little, 'insignificant', even ever so brief events can have long term impacts on who we become, and who we are. And when it comes to things we either don't want to remember, or subconsciously repress, it's all still there, affecting the rest of our lives, whether we're able to acknowledge it, or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Actually, little kids apparently DO have sex. (see recent news article below) Anyone saying kids are not sexual are denying basic biology. We're born with a sex drive, whether we recognise it or not. By the way, this article will turn most parents stomachs!Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...line-porn.html
Sometimes-miss, my guess is most truly don't remember that insignificant moment but whether that's because they've subconsciously blanked it out or because they were too young is anyone's guess. Hypnotherapy and ordinary old therapy would probably clear up a lot of the confusion I often read here.
My mother took DES and IMHO that's what did it
http://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/gender-identity/
It's pretty much accepted in the Transgender community that no one has any concrete evidence as to why this phenomenon happens. For those who feel that they are a girl trapped in a boy's body, acceptance is pretty easy. For those of us who are quite happy being boys and girls, it's not quite so easy. Especially when we take one of those gender tests on the Internet and we come up 100 % boy!
Paula, I just read your posting on DES. Thank you for the link. My mind is spinning as my mother took DES for several years before I was born. Now comes the research.
I have tried to answer this question for years. No one thing or person influenced it. I simply liked the feel of undergarments and one day I decided try it on, and the rest is history. I guess lingerie caused me to become a crossdresser. Well, I'm glad I became one!! I'm loving every minute of it!
I like to wear dresses, make-up, and high heeled shoes.:daydreaming:
So many varying experiences, some that can (or think they have) pinpointed and exact moment or action. While for some I truly believe crossdressing is a choice and probably a fetish.
So for me, I don't know what caused me to be a crossdresser other than it is who I am and how I was born. Let me go down the list:
- I was an only child
- I don't recall either of my parents ever telling me they were hoping for a girl
- My parents divorced when I was 9, the rest of the time I was rasied by my Father who remained single
- As a child, I played with war with my guy friends, but was just as comfortable and happy playing clapping games with my girl friends during recess and on field trips. I climbed trees with both my guy and girl friends!
- I did have a pink Care Bear growing up, until my first dog adopted it as her own (Could this be it?)
So looking back, I never had a direct influence but I was always a little bit more feminine. I know that I always had an attraction to girls and I liked how they dressed, acted, and looked but until about 12 years old never thought that was me. Around 12 is when I know I became actively aware that I was different. What triggered the awareness was when I first tried on girl's clothing and instantly felt the butterflies in my tummy when I looked into the mirror, and I just felt and looked right. Even though that is how I felt, I didn't truly understand this feeling until later in life when I learned that I wasn't the only one that felt that way. Up until that and because of social norms that were taught, I felt ashamed and embarrassed. Whew, am I glad that phase is over!
And here I am today, open about myself to most of the world and happy about it waiting to the day I get to live more of a full time life!
--Charlene
Admiration of womens clothings. They have so many different types and styles than guys. Accessories and all the other fun stuff. That's what drawn my attention
I tried to track the study produced by Scott P Kerlin "Prenatal Exposure to Diethylstilbestrol (DES) (2004)". It apparently was presented at a conference, but I can find no evidence that it was published in any peer reviewed journal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paula_56
Here's the study:
http://www.desaction.org/documents/S...LINRpt2005.pdf
There is also a CNN news article that is a cut and paste of the wording provided in your link:
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-811910
I could find no other reference to Kerlin's study and I'm wondering if it was not published because his work is unsubstantiated.
There is evidence, however, that DES caused physical abnormalities in male sons: non-cancerous epididymal cysts and some other genital abnormalities, and a slight issue of infertility:
From the CDC.gov: http://www.cdc.gov/des/consumers/abo...ects_sons.html
Here's another report from the desaction.org, that additionally states there are possibly higher incidents of testicular varicoceles (swollen varicose vein on the testicles), along with the possibility of testicular and prostrate cancer. They do say there is no evidenced-based research in human populations showing that homosexuality, transgender and transexualism are at issue:
http://www.desaction.org/dessons.htm
Last, here are study links from scholar.google on the myriad physical efffects of DES. I've only clicked on the first few links, and the only references to gender identity state there are no significant differences between DES children and the general population.
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=...&as_sdt=0%2C14
My concern is, a belief that DES causes gender identity issues might be an all too convenient way to explain away the crossdressing for those who look for explanations, even though there does not appear to be any evidence.
far back as I can remember I liked looking at the lingerie adds in the newspaper. later in life a female family friend that had been staying with us left a box of clothes behind.. I was disappointed when my mother found the box and threw it away.
Those pantyhose laying on the floor. Had to try them and was hooked.
" In my early childhood I was trying to gain contact with my mother" .. well in my case I can certainly relate to that, my mother and father separated when I was about three years old, and, unusually, my mother relinquished custody of me to my father after a few weeks or months, as a result I was raised first by my paternal grandmother and then, from age six, by a hostile stepmother ( "hostile" by her own recent admission). My first crossdressing experience occurred when I tried on some very feminine knickers from my grandmother's drawer at about three, when granny caught me I told her that I was "playing babies". I did read a theory once that cross-dressing in males is rooted in early separation from one's mother, and there may well be something in this in your case (emotional), and mine (physical) ? It's not true in all cases though, as anyone who has read through the many threads on the topic here will know, and I certainly can't say that my very secret and suppressed childhood feelings that I SHOULD have been born a girl all stem from this ..
.. just like you, at puberty it became a very sexual thing, and now mainly comfort, relaxation and happiness .. and a bit of fun :)
They wouldn't know though, Brenda, as early childhood memory is fleeting and subjective. Every single member here might have one significant thing in common yet we will never know unless we perform hypnotherapy and other rigorous research on them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brenda Richards
Hmmmm....would that be so wrong?? :)
It's complicated, maybe genetic or DES, the way my mom raised me or that I'm really a woman trapped, I don't know. Physically I am nothing like any of the men in my family, A good 50 pounds and 3 to 4 inches shorter.
Some of my first vivid memories are of playing with the two girls who used to mind my while my parents worked when I was between 3 and 6. Some of the time when I was at their house (they were sisters, aged 13-17 roughly) they used to put make-up and jewelry on me, and I remember absolutely loving it.
Whether that is what caused me to start, or whether I would have developed this way regardless of those events, I guess there will never really be a way of knowing that.
For me it all started with an innocent curiosity about pantyhose. Once I put them on for the first time there was no turning back. Eventually my curiosity extended to other forms of female clothing and enjoying the tactile sensations eventually led me to dressing completely. Liking how my legs looked in nylon originally, and liking how they looked in nylon under a skirt even better brought me through the "looking glass." I think of myself as a red blooded guy who happens to have a wider range of clothing tastes than most.
my feminine side.
My favorite among the responses to a thoughtful question. I think I just fell in love! Thanks for making my day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alberta_Pat
After I watched TV news about transwoman people(I was only 8 years old), I wanted to have female breast and enjoyed wearing a bra.
I honestly dont know the moment when i became a crossdresser. There was not one moment when i was like "kk now i wear girls clothes too" its just always been a part of me. I had a good childhood and was not repressed or anything. I have always dressed flamboyant even when not in fem clothes, and i did not start really dressing alot till recently.
Short version, i like girls clothes, i like being a girl sometimes.
For Me I was around 12 or so and had always had a fascination with lingerie in catalogs. One night after getting out of the shower I saw that my sister had laid her clothes out for school the next day and I thought I should find out what these pretty things were all about so I tried on the bra and panties and I was hooked. I also found something else to to keep my young mind racing but that's another story!
I can't remember that far back. My earliest memory of wanting to dress was maybe three years old. So what caused this love of things feminine? Maybe a hold over of a previous female life?
I have always wanted to live as a female. I have felt so since the age of 6 or so.
DES Connection to CD?
The fascination and desire to CD always seemed like something I was born with. As early as I can remember I knew there was this forbidden activity that I would someday embrace. I always assumed it was genetic, after this thread I begin to wonder.
The possible pre-natal DES connection with CD’ing is very interesting and thanks to Paula for bringing it up as I had never run across it. I don’t know if my mother took DES or not (if she were still alive I would be compelled to ask her). She was the kind of person that was fond of pharmaceutical solutions for almost anything and the time frame of my birth (1949) is consistent of when DES was being promoted by physicians so I now suspect that she may have taken it. I think the truth is destined to remain a mystery in my case.
As I read the various medical reports about the known and likely medical side effects on males of pre-natal DES by the mother I find that I have experienced at least 50% of the serious side effects in my lifetime. And that is not even including the possible connection with CD’ing or transgender tendencies.
Very interesting and thanks again Paula for bringing it up.
Hugs,
Stephanie
I'm not really certain. I grew up doing a lot of manly, macho things, and have always had very masculine interests, like sports, cars, horror movies and such. But right around the age of twelve, I became simply fascinated with girl's clothes, and wanting to wear them. And then came makeup, and I was hooked.
I've only had one girlfriend that knew of this (the ex-wife didn't wish to know or hear of it), and that was in my teens. She was fairly supportive, loaning me bras and helping me dress at her house. I lost my virginity to her when we were both fifteen, following a session of dressing and makeup, yet, for all of the sexual connections I could make to it, it just seemed like a natural thing to do was dress in girl's clothing.
It simply came over me in a wave at that age, and has stayed with me. Some guys play fantasy sports, I play fantasy shopping. I truly wish I knew what sparked this.
I wanted to be a girl from a very early age. I developed a fascination with my Mothers stockings and later her tights. I tried a dress on at the age of six and attempted to put a pair of stockings on. I was very envious of the girls in my school when they started to wear nylon tights. I eventually tried on a pair of my Mothers tights at the age of twelve and have never looked back. Like a lot of people who have worn tights for the first time as a young child I could not believe how good my legs looked in tights. I have loved tights and dresses and skirts and shoes ever since.
I agree, we are just wired as we're wired. That said, I do think certain influences "help" us along our path. In my case it was early and frequent exposure to a close family member's beauty salon. I would read her magazines and admire the gorgeous hairstyles in them. To this day, nice hair is my favorite aspect of CD'ing. Alas, the bane of my existence: I'm mostly bald. :brolleyes: I'm looking forward to getting my first wig. I've always had a femme side fairly close the surface. I remain happily heterosexual, but no longer feel the need to suppress what comes naturally.
My mother did sewing and alterations for added income. Around age 12 she started using me as the dress form for skirts and dresses in my size range.
I really started getting into it which didn't go unnoticed and was eventually replaced by a dress form she got at a thrift shop. But by then the seed had been planted and I kept secretly dressing.
Reine said: "This is interesting. Dressing like a girl gave you permission to experience feelings that you did not think was OK for men to feel. Maybe this is what is different about some men who end up CDing .. they have a rather rigid, unforgiving view of what men must feel, so they construct a different persona in order to feel the full breadth of human emotion? I think it's OK for men to not feel macho. "
Once again your insight express how I feel about being dressed. I was raised on a farm and worked outside with my father from a very early age. He did a good job to teaching me how to be a man. However I was always jealous of my sisters that got to help Mom in the house and wear such pretty things. As an adult I found that "being Macho" had its rewards but can be very tiring. When I am dressed I give myself permission to relax and not be manly. I can express emotions and feel very comfortable performing what I was taught to be very feminine roles. It gives me a break from my standard role in life. Over the years I have been able to incorporate these new emotions into my male persona and my wife feels that this has made me a more complete person.
A difficult question. I have have some guesses but the best approach is to accept your self as you are
When I was younger spent too much time try to figure it out
I'm not totally sure what it was. However, a sister dressed me up once. I wore a dress for a little while before I gave it to my first girlfriend. I think those had at least a little to do with it.
Actually, we have plenty of evidence. The problem lies in those who want to find the ONE and ONLY cause of transgender feelings. But if you discard that limitation, it's pretty easy to figure out a lot of us if you examine each of our lives extensively enough. There are those who are clearly either genetically or chemically affected before birth, others who may or may not have genetic influences which 'turn on' the gender switch at various points in life, some who have no such predisposition but were influenced during specific stages of development, and of course, any combination of the above. Or perhaps something else entirely, such as a virus or even physical trauma which can cause changes in our brains. Because if you look for a single cause, you're not likely to find it. Perhaps there is a part of our brain which determines gender feelings/behavior/self identification, just as there are parts which focus on hearing, sight, or speech; but until there are more advanced ways of examining our minds, we aren't going to find it. Remember, every thought, every feeling we have is generated by chemical/electrical changes occurring in milliseconds. And we can't measure each thought yet. Eventually, but not yet. Besides, that is the end result of what CAUSED those things to happen. In the meantime, for those who still think there's one and only one cause, happy hunting. I don't think we'll get an answer in our lifetime.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn Marie
It's just speculation. I was the second child born. My mother seemed to always want the perfect family: a son and a daughter. I have an older brother by fourteen months. I was "suppose" to be a girl. Well, my dad's sperm thought otherwise. I heard her comment too many times. One day I cried about it and she consoled me that she loved me. My genetics were totally different than my brother. I took after my father's genes. I was rough and tumble. I was all boy. I'm beginning to think I was still subconsciously plagued by my mother's disavowed desire that I was suppose to be the daughter of the family. I ended up dabbling in her lingerie draw and trying on her dresses. Why" I really don't know.
Recently my mother passed away. Since then I have had no desire to "dress up." I wonder if my cross dressing became a way to seek some acceptance on her terms. Now that she has passed away I'm wondering if I have been set free. Next week I plan to fully dress. I'm wondering how I will feel.
I once started a thread entitle "The Golden Key", which was meant to be a satiric romp on such "why questions".
Understandably, the thread was deleted by the mods (as satire is meant for the bar room).
But I will say that the art of "satire" was once considered a "high art" by the European literary community, which meant that it revealed truth in "non-traditional" ways.
I forget the specifics of the thread, but several of us fine gals here in the forum had begun to reduce the "why" equation to a few key items, which included but certainly was not limited to:
1) Smurfs
2) Guitars
3) Twinkies (the pastry)
4) Some type of special Rum
5) A haphazardly discarded "maid's outfit"
The equation was nearly finished, you see, but the final "ingredient" had been written on a bar napkin that mysteriously "disappeared" when the United States defeated the Russians in hockey during the 1980 Winter Olympics.
II have never really thought about it , and never really cared about what " caused " Me to love all things femme ! I just go with it and enjoy it !
I went through several phases before I embraced crossdressing more, when I was younger I didn't understand why I was trying on womens clothes and also I used to feel guilty that I was doing something wrong when I was younger because of being raised around a very strict religion, then a few years ago I started to go to a gay/straight bar for the first time and going to a gay/straight bar is what helped me break free mentally from the strict religion I was raised in.
Also about a few years ago I all of a sudden dawned on me in one day that what I need to do is accept my feminine side, as soon as I did that I happened to find crossdressers.com, also that very same day one of my co workers came up to me and she told me my personality reminds her of Dora the fish because I keep forgetting things and thats how I came up with my female name.
My future goals is to eventually do a male to female transformation when I visit Denver, I really want to get some updated pictures on here, also I can say that by embracing crossdressing its one of the very most best things I have done and now I understand myself alot more:)
Not sure this is a cause, so to speak. Like many men, I always liked women in lingerie, and one day the odd idea hit me about what it would feel like to wear it myself. I had a Fredrick's catalog (this is a year before the WWW erupted into the world) and ordered a gown and a chemise that the size charts indicated would fit me. They arrived, I put on the gown, and a few minutes later after my jangled neurons settled down, I realized I had something new to explore.
Not exactly a Marvel/DC comics origin story, but there you have it.
It was Chemical X.Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor Ray
Sheer curiosity about how it would feel got me to try it out. Putting it on got me hooked.
it was my step mom also. she got stuck raising me at the age of three, hated me it seems and decided to use me for her pleasure. she never tried making me a girl but her constant sexual influence made me crazy for anything feminine at a very early age. and it led me to experiment.
now that i'm a senior. dressing takes on more emphasis regarding the powerful feminine feelings that i enjoy and how i move - i even seem to eat more lady like (less food) when i'm in that mentality.
i turned 66 today and one of my fervent wishes is that i could just go to the store in female clothes and not be judged. would i shop differently - i suspect i would become much more a woman than i ever could as i hide everything.
my step mom wore an open bottom girdle and she had me go under her dress and unhook the stocking garters attached to the inner side of the girdle. i was about 7-8 and ruth wore no panties that day. i remember being totally confused and exquisitely excited. she soon educated me about her body and how she wanted pleasure, but that first sighting rewired my brain.
I began by trying on Mothers dresses,then got bold and took a fresh pkg of pantyhose out of mothers drawer&put them onQuote:
Originally Posted by Seana Summer
and stepped into a pair of Mothers high heels&enjoyed walking around the house for hours,dressed in her clothes.Next,I began trying on all of her skirts&silky blouses&her blazers
Playful tam, wow. Sounds like child abuse. Probably woudn't be appropriate to continue this story, but let the mods decide!
^.^
I come from an abusive childhood. My means of dealing with the abuse was to force those feelings of anger and hatred deep underground, so to speak. When this finally failed, I developed a dissociative identity disorder, that lasted until 2011, when I forgave my mother (14 years after she died). In 2011, I was able to heal the identity disorder by unifying the personality. The female side won the portion that controls presenting identity and so on, so I now feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. With that done, I could finally REALLY get into exploring and dressing in women's clothing.
Amy M. Jackson
The old nature or nurture question. How do I know? I do know this. I grew up in the age of the miniskirt and a dropped pencil was often rewarded with the sight of som nylon and lace and the mystery of what was under there. Between my mother and a sister a year younger there were plenty of silky nylon things and curiosity took over. It did not take long for the thrill to end in reward. Somewhere between the thrill, the risk and the ultimate reward, it just never stopped and while it is not so much about the teenage reward anymore, it is still an ongoing pleasant experience. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that yes, I am a crossdresser and not just a guy with a panty fetish but I guess like Pavlov's dog, I've just had my bell rung one too many times.
I was born this way I think. Been doing it since I was around 5. Just naturally preferred girls things.
I was sexually assaulted by a band of pink unicorns in the ladies room of a perfume factory. I've been prancing around in dresses and smelling like a field of wildflowers every since.
I became a crossdresser because I couldn't change my genes.
I just sort of tended to like both manly and girly things, fitted into all social groups. Enjoyed dressing when I tried it on and off, then when I disclosed this to my partner she helped me discover it further and here I am