Are crossdressers better partners?
Are crossdressers better partners, i think so, because we enjoy shopping with them for clothes we don't mind house work and i am sure they don't mind us in the kitchen cooking or cleaning. I think we are a neater person because we feel like we belong more when we help with what is considered to be womans work; laundry making the bed vacuuming doing dishes painting their nails. Most women love to be pampered and spoiled, what better way to get what you want than to give them what they want. I love to do all these things and my wife eats it up. I'll bet today she will bring me a new top or skirt or something feminine home. She say's that i am a better husband because i crossdress and would not have it any other way. I suppose i am one of the lucky ones to have a wife that fully supports my cding and encourages me to be feminine. She bought me some new foundation because mine was a few months old. She said especially things like mascara and eyeliner should be replaced at least every few months so she gets me new makeup if i don't do it myself which i do sometimes. When i get something for me i get something for her, i know what she likes in makeup and things so i get her some too when i shop alone. I don't have a problem buying her monthly items either. But i ramble on so i will cut it short. Have a fem day.
Michelle
I think the short answer is...
...that we can connect with with women (or at least we think we can) in a way that falls somewhere between the stereotypically masculine male provider/protector role and the non-threatening gay "pal" or hairdresser/make up artist/interior designer/fashion guru whose company they seem to enjoy on a totally different level.
Problem is, they typically want to keep those two worlds completely apart and don't really want a husband and a girlfriend all rolled up into one, which is what we could be for them if they were willing. Much of it comes down to gender role imprinting when they (and we) were young, and what society and the conventions of the day dictated.
For example, like women of my wife's generation, she prefers the hirsute, '60's/'70's look best exemplified by the younger versions of Burt Reynolds, Sean Connery, and Kenny Rogers et al, and is really not comfortable with me removing most of my body hair below my neck to better accommodate "Leslie". On the other hand, the younger women of today's generation generally seem to prefer the hairless look, and I would suspect that the porn industry having gone mainstream nowadays and the way that the male performers "man-scape" themselves to encourage and facilitate engaging in oral sex - which has now become almost as innocuous as kissing - has a lot to do with promoting that trend.
It is very important for women to feel good about themselves to feel sexy, attractive, and desirable to the opposite sex as part of the never-ending mating ritual, even within a committed relationship. We crossdressers upset that delicate balance when we are seen trying to hijack their femininity when we talk about wanting to express our own version of this. And then again, there is always the constant fear that we might actually look better than them, which would really play up their inherent insecurities about body image etc.
Women are complicated creatures. My wife and I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in effect, and while we are both at a point where we are comfortable talking openly about my crossdressing and she knows that I am now going out in public as "Leslie", it still becomes an issue from time to time, and I don't see the day coming when she will actually agree to meet the "other woman", as she calls her.
On the other hand, my GG make up artist, who I've actually begun to strike up a real friendship with at this point, thinks that "Leslie rocks", and has asked me to contribute fashion advice to a newsletter she sends out periodically to her clients. I feel as much at ease in her presence as "Leslie" as she seems in mine, and we chat and get along like two girlfriends when I go for my sessions.
And yet, there is a likely a psychological compartmentalization going on here because I am seen as a favorite customer whom she has a lot in common with and who she supports in getting in touch with his "inner girl" on an intellectual/compassionate level, but I also don't represent a threat to her or her inherent femininity. Somehow, I doubt that she would react the same way if her husband suddenly appeared on her doorstep in a wig, skirt, pantyhose, and heels as I do.
So let's not be too hard on our wives or SO's if they don't jump at the chance of having a husband and girlfriend all wrapped into one. They are trying their level best to deal with this by mentally separating the "guy" and the "girl" that share our bodies, and focusing instead on the man whom they originally married and don't want to lose as we struggle to "find" ourselves and come to terms with our inner girl.
And in the end, aren't we guilty of the same thing, when most of us try to compartmentalize our male and female sides by presenting an unambiguous male persona to the rest of the world while living our secret lives in parallel?
