Attractive, or "Meh - take it or leave it"

[Cheryl T]

Well, for me it would be strictly the attractive woman that I see I would like to be. When I see anyone totally disheveled, in those baggy sweats and looking like they could care less I always think "why don't you have any self-pride"??
It's not that I would have a problem with being overweight (I'm plus sized as it is), but not being presentable is another thing. I'm not saying you have to be in runway makeup and dressed to the nines, but at least show that you care about how you look. Brush your hair, save the sweats for your backyard, not the mall and this goes for guys as well as girls. The males with their pants below their crack ... c'mon, no one wants to see your underwear.

So yes, I think of looking like someone that is attractive, but even if I was female and not Heidi Klum I'd still want to be proud of how I look.

[ReineD]

I think this is an absurd question. No offense intended but seriously, who would look at a train wreck and say I would like to emulate that. Why anyone, male or female would go out in public like that baffles me other than they just don't care.

But that's not the question though. The question is NOT "who would you like to look like or dress similar to". The question is, "if seeing an appealing woman triggers a desire to dress, then would seeing an unappealing woman trigger the desire too".

[Kate Simmons]

I think for the most part most guys only see the "glitter" part of womanhood. How a gal looks when she's dressed to the 9's but that is definitely not the "norm" or even reality. Of course gals like to look nice but when, as you say, they are chasing their kids around all day taking care of them, every hair will definitely not be in place. Even so gals get satisfaction from motherhood and caring for their families. That's the kind of person I appreciate, appearance notwithstanding. That is what real women do.

[portia513]

I am the SO of a CD. He told me that he likes to dress because he can see and touch what he loves about women whenever he wants to. I dress for him. He buys me sexy lingerie and I wear it for him. It excites him sexually very much. My question: If you have someone who is willing to dress for you and pleasure you sexually, could the desire to dress go away?

[Jenniferathome]

No Portia, cross dressing is really not about you. It does not go away. It may quite down but never disappears. What he told you might be partially true but I suspect there is more.

Can you share what he likes to wear? Is it just lingerie? Or is there more?

I'll add that after being on this forum for about 5 years, I recall exactly 1 person who announced they were "quitting." 1. Others have buried the need for a time, purged and they always report that the need comes back. One's sex life and a spouse are not related to cross dressing. Portia, you can absolutely satisfy him sexually. That will not be a substitute for cross dressing although I'm sure he'll be appreciative.

[NicoleScott]

Portia, Jenniferathome is correct for herself (of course) but not for everyone. I have pondered your question for decades, and I have concluded that, yes, my desires could be satisfied by a willing partner, if such a person existed. I think it depends on what drives the crossdressing. I doubt that CDers driven by an internal feminine identity and dress to express that femininity would be satisfied by a partner. Many CDers, like me, are driven by fetishes. There are things that women wear that, even by themselves, arouse me. Two in particular have that power, and a few others just add to that excitement. By complete, head to toe, over-the-top transformation, I can combine all the things that arouse me for maximum pleasure during a dressup session. It would be asking a lot for a woman to do for me what I do for myself (assuming, of course, that the rest of the relationship is good). If your SO has a single fetish object (for example, lace-top stockings), maybe your accommodation could curb his dressing. But you never know when it might no longer be enough, and more is required of you. And at some point you might (rightfully so) feel that his arousal is caused by the stockings, not you.
When I said "if such a person existed" I was serious. I don't think she exists. So my "yes" answer is remotely possible but very unlikely.
My wife knows but isn't interested in participating, so I do my thing and she's OK with it. She knows what I like, has seen me made up and dressed and seen my pics, but it's way beyond her comfort level. Oh, how I would love it if she WANTED TO, but she doesn't. It works for us.
I suspect Jenniferathome is correct for the vast majority of CDers. Maybe a few of us could be satisfied by a dressing partner, but it could be a slippery slope you don't need to start down. Wearing what he likes is great if you're comfortable with it, but expecting it to replace his desire to crossdress is unrealistic. Better to let him do his thing, privately if necessary.

[Alice Torn]

I am only attracted to a small perdentage of GG's. I find many cute, pretty, nice looking. But, only rarely do I see one , that is dressed in the styles i adore, carries herself a certain way, and is super tall, and great legs. I was in Vancouver BC about 6 years ago at the airport, and heard heels clicking, and such an older, great shape for her age, lady in a skirt suit, hose and heels passed by. She worked there. She was over six feet tall, and i am six feet six! My heart skipped a beat. Such a GG is rare, and even rarer, dressed in a style I am attracted to. I emulate such GGs . I do not dress up as GGs, who a re unkempt, sloppy, and do not try to better themselves.

[Tina_gm]

I am the SO of a CD. He told me that he likes to dress because he can see and touch what he loves about women whenever he wants to. I dress for him. He buys me sexy lingerie and I wear it for him. It excites him sexually very much. My question: If you have someone who is willing to dress for you and pleasure you sexually, could the desire to dress go away?

For me, dressing is not sexual. If my wife wears something which attracts me, arouses me, it has no bearing whatsoever on my dressing or my desire either way. I would simply be aroused by what my wife was doing.

I think if anything, for those who have much about their CDing that is fetish related, it would create a bigger desire to dress before it would lower it. But since I am not one who dresses for sexual reasons, I am not the best person to ask of others. It would just seem to me that if the dressing was sexual in nature, it would likely enhance the desire. For me personally, it has no bearing.

[Lori Kurtz]

My question: If you have someone who is willing to dress for you and pleasure you sexually, could the desire to dress go away?

There are probably as many answers to that question as there are crossdressers, Portia. In my case, yes. Sort of. I had a wonderfully satisfying sex life with my second wife. She was nearly always, as they say, "hot to trot," except for a rough patch around menopause time. My desire to dress never completely went away, but she kept me busy enough so that I was never overpowered by that desire. Even during those peri-menopausal years, I was able to keep myself away from any dressup activities, so that I never had to cross that line of being dishonest with her. I know that won't necessarily work for all of us, and I know that my good luck in finding a woman with such a strong libido was an important factor for me. If you're comfortable with what you're doing with you're SO, and if you're confident that he's being honest with you, then I say you (and he) should be grateful for the life that you're enjoying together. Best wishes to you both.

[Kate T]

But we can't turn the situation around, because when women see an attractive guy, his appearance doesn't trigger a desire to go home present as a male. So my question is not about who GGs/GMs/CDs/etc are attracted to but rather, do CDers get as strong an urge to dress when they see a run-of-the-mill, nondescript, or rather unappealing female like they do when they see a GG who particularly appeals to them.

You can sort of turn the question around but it would require much larger number of FTM CD / TS than we have on these boards. We know they exist though, they just don't do forums that much.

I'm not sure where the original question is aiming at / originating and I don't really qualify to answer being female identified and transitioned. FWIW though if you want me to throw a spanner in the works, the women I am attracted to (I am female attracted WRT sexuality) are NOT necessarily those I would emulate in style / fashion / presentation choice or might make me want to buy that dress / skirt / makeup they are wearing.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

I am the SO of a CD. He told me that he likes to dress because he can see and touch what he loves about women whenever he wants to. I dress for him. He buys me sexy lingerie and I wear it for him. It excites him sexually very much. My question: If you have someone who is willing to dress for you and pleasure you sexually, could the desire to dress go away?

No offence Portia but why would you want too?? I get it that you just want to make him happy but relationships are a 2 way street. Hopefully he loves you for who you are, not because you are dressed up in some lingerie etc. Everyone likes to to have some nice lingerie / clothes etc. and to really get dressed to the nines at times but does it always have to be about pleasuring a man? I would hope that it makes you happy and he is happy that it makes you happy. But then again I'm also one of those real prudes who thinks that physical intimacy should be reserved for that truly special relationship and bonding between 2 individuals in a committed relationship :P

[Georgette_USA]

You can sort of turn the question around but it would require much larger number of FTM CD / TS than we have on these boards. We know they exist though, they just don't do forums that much.

Has anyone met a true FtM CD. I knew a woman many years ago, who might have been such, but we never talked about it. Only dressed as a female for work.
Do know quite a few FtM TS, but never discussed the idea of where their inspiration came from.

[OCCarly]

But that's not the question though. The question is NOT "who would you like to look like or dress similar to". The question is, "if seeing an appealing woman triggers a desire to dress, then would seeing an unappealing woman trigger a desire as too".

One of the things that led me to realize that deep down inside, I really am a girl, is simply this -- every time I see an unappealing woman, I always think about all the ways I could improve on her looks, dress, and presentation if I were living inside her body.

[Zooey]

One of the things that led me to realize that deep down inside, I really am a girl, is simply this -- every time I see an unappealing woman, I always think about all the ways I could improve on her looks, dress, and presentation if I were living inside her body.

Wait-What-Meme-16.jpg

Umm... I'm honestly... Hmm...

[Nashmau]

^

i 2nd Zooeys post.... i dont even know what to say....

[Kate T]

Carly

Not sure you realise exactly how many women, cis or trans, find your last post judgemental and offensive.

Pretty much all of us.

[Melissa Rose]

One of the things that led me to realize that deep down inside, I really am a girl, is simply this -- every time I see an unappealing woman, I always think about all the ways I could improve on her looks, dress, and presentation if I were living inside her body.

Wow!? Oh, Wow. Ummmm.....speechless except for Wow!?

This is going to derail this thread.

[grace7777]

Someday I would like to live as a women full time. Right now, I present as male for work situations, but pretty well otherwise live as a woman. In the future I would like to do HRT and maybe GRS, and to be legally a woman. Having said that, my desire to present as a woman has nothing to do with whether the woman is appealing or unappealing.

I will see women dressed and get ideas as to how I will dress in the future. There will be times that I might see someone dressed in a nice outfit, but I know that it will not look good on me. Ultimately how I dress is what I feel makes me look good, or what gives me a good feeling about myself.

I have no desire to be someone else, I just want to be me.

[ReineD]

I'm not sure where the original question is aiming at / originating and I don't really qualify to answer being female identified and transitioned.

Right, I didn't want to prevent anyone from posting in here if they wanted to, but my question as explained earlier is aimed at CDers more than TSs. You'll appreciate that generally, CDers and TSs present as women for different reasons and I don't expect TSs to be triggered by anything, other than a deeply felt and long standing knowledge that they are indeed women and not men, even if it took awhile to peel back the layers.

One of the things that led me to realize that deep down inside, I really am a girl, is simply this -- every time I see an unappealing woman, I always think about all the ways I could improve on her looks, dress, and presentation if I were living inside her body.

To OCCarly Sexy Thang (the words on your avatar), forgive me for being blunt but you have a lot to learn about women. There are a great many things they feel are more important than looks or being sexy, contrary to what you might think. Their lives are rich with creativity, intelligence, work, study, family, loves, children, friends, spirituality, strength, giving, receiving, thoughtfulness, involvement in social issues, etc, none of which require being sexy or dressing like a fashion plate. And do you know why this is? Because they know that the people who matter see them for the women of substance that they are more than just a pretty thing to look at.

[Krisi]

Reine, your post is along the lines of something I have posted from time to time. We have a lot of crossdressers wishing they were women, but they all seem to wish they were some "hot" young chick they saw in a bar, on TV or in a catalog somewhere. In reality, most women in the world are not hot young chicks. I wonder if they would still want to be a woman if that meant being a woman in a poverty ridden third world country. In an Islamic ruled country? A homely or overweight woman in America? How about an abused woman?

Crossdressing is fun as a hobby, but most of us are pretty well off compared to the entire population of the planet.

[audreyinalbany]

This is probably germaine to the topic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YBiS4GyyjM

[Meghan4now]

Well, first, as a CD and not TS, image may be a bit more important to me. Vanity, narcissism, stereotyping? Perhaps, but I think only mildly if so. When I look at a guy with straggling greasy hair, sweats and a mustard stained shirt, I don't say to my self "man that's a look to strive for". If I see Ben Affleck or George Clooney in tux, I might be inspired to copy the look. So I don't see the issue. As a GG, are you inspired by Rosanne Barr, or by Sophia Loren? And it doesn't have to be age or weight specific. Lots of great looking people out there. Many who don't fit an ideal body image, but 1 do the best with what they've got and 2 are pleasant and confident.

Yes, I am inspired by good looking women, not careless or nasty old hags. Somewhere in between I can be inspired as well, depending on the situation, and the specific character or feature I'm observing.

P.S. some of the characteristics that seem unattractive are also characteristics that coincide with poorer health. It is natural to prefer to be youthful and healthy.

P.P.S.
I was so inspired by a friend when she was showing off her new "race car red" polish, I had to go get some. Very average 50yo mom, not outstanding. But I saw her nails, and yeah, I wanted to do mine the same.

[JamieG]

In my case, it is not an attractive woman that triggers my desire to dress, it is an attractively-dressed woman. If I see a very attractive woman wearing something I don't care for (e.g., capri pants), it does not trigger my desire to my dress. However, I might still look at her, and appreciate her looks the way other men do. If I see a rather plain woman wearing something I like (e.g., patterned tights and gorgeous boots) then it triggers my desire to try on a similar outfit, but also makes her more attractive in my eyes. In no case do I want to be the woman who I am seeing. I am happy to be me, I just wish I could be a more feminine me.

[Taylor186]

The question is, "if seeing an appealing woman triggers a desire to dress, then would seeing an unappealing woman trigger the desire too".

Sorry, I misunderstood the original question. I'm not triggered to crossdress by seeing an attractively dressed or otherwise woman. I would say I'm often, but not always, triggered by stress but seeing an attractively dressed woman is not the least bit stressful for me.

[LelaK]

I am the SO of a CD. He told me that he likes to dress because he can see and touch what he loves about women whenever he wants to. I dress for him. He buys me sexy lingerie and I wear it for him. It excites him sexually very much. My question: If you have someone who is willing to dress for you and pleasure you sexually, could the desire to dress go away?

I had a GF last year whom I was with almost constantly for about 8 months. She didn't like me to crossdress and I found that I didn't mind not doing it while we were together. The intimacy was more important to me, although she didn't dress as sexy as I would have liked. It took a couple months after breaking up for me to start dressing again. Now I'm seeking a better GF. Having a GF is more important to me than is dressing.

PS, I see nothing insulting about Carly's statement. To be objective, most of us are not as attractive as we could be, and there's nothing wrong with imagining how others or oneself could be more attractive. The same applies to personality, behavior etc. There's nothing wrong with thinking about how others could possibly improve themselves in those respects too. Or is society getting to the point that everyone is expected to not think about such things even privately, because it seems insulting? It's not insulting and that's the Thought Police popping up again. It's entirely honorable and natural to think about improving things. And it's everyone's right to have freedom of thought and of speech.

[PrivateXDresser]

Yes, in a heartbeat. My desire to CD is that I love the look and feel of the outfits and material. My fetish has strictly been with lingerie ... no shoes, wigs or make-up. If I had a woman who did as you said, the underwear would all go in storage. You never know if you might need it again! : )