Crossing dressing and dating guys?

[ReineD]

But when I was with my first girlfriend, I think part of me was always emotionally unavailable to her and there was probably quite a lot missing from the relationship ... At the time, I guess I only saw things one way.

Maybe this happened because you didn't love her and she wasn't the one for you? Or do you mean the situation developed because you were wrapped up in femme fantasies and your ex gf sorta fell by the wayside? Either way, thanks for your honesty.

It is such a horrible feeling to feel as if someone is not fully in the relationship, that anything is missing or that the person you are with would prefer you to be someone else, someone different. It's like a stab to the heart.

Maybe it is something that can be best seen when you experienced it yourself? It's too easy to get lost in your own little world.

I agree. You know, I've talked to a lot of people here and I've seen many threads where it appears as if partners (either the GG or CD) end up putting blinders on and settling for crumbs, and the intimacy (sexual intimacy is a huge part of it) slowly erodes to the point where they become two room mates who share a roof.

Like said before, they could feel like they only have a parttime husband. But that's all a matter how she feels about the whole cd subject, how far we feel like we need to go with our cd around her, and what sacrifices we are willing to make...

Although I agree that many GGs don't want to have anything to do with the CDing which makes it difficult for the CD, this particular thread is more about sexual desires. This thread has nearly 19,000 hits and more than 300 responses, well over half of which disclose fantasies about being with men (but only while dressed .. so it is assumed the responder is a hetero CD, perhaps or likely (?) in a relationship with a GG). Believe me, GGs do feel the disconnect.

Not all of us ( or even possibly "many" ) are married, and even fewer of those who are married are selfish people who'd use ANY excuse to cheat. I repeat, it isn't because they are CD's.

That's true! But the statistics or the 'buzz' (whether it is accurate or not, I don't know, since it is difficult to measure) is that most CDers are married, heterosexual men. Yet here is a sizable thread where a majority fantasize about being sexual as a woman with a man. This is something that a wife or a potential gf cannot compete with, no matter how sexually willing she is to be with her partner. Granted, non-CDers fantasize about having sex with women outside their relationships too, maybe this is your point. Someone else mentioned this too. But I should think it wouldn't be such a stretch for a non-CD to transfer a fantasy about some hot babe to his partner when they are making love, since the object of the fantasy and the person being made love to is the same gender. It stands to reason that it would be harder to enjoy a GG partner as much if the sexual desire was to be as a woman who wants to be with a man.

Karen, again I'm not wanting to be difficult, just pointing out a major reason why GGs have an issue with the CDing. This would even affect a bi GG, since she also would not measure up if her CDing husband wanted to be with a guy. OK, so the disclaimer is that CDs say they only feel this way when they are in femme mode, not guy mode, therefore the wife is not affected. But how many CDs have said they feel flat sexually in drab?

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with expression,just that these type threads can lead to a lot of insecurity for loved ones.

Bingo!

But, still I think it is important to discuss this. I would hate to see a thread like this go underground to the GM forum simply out of a desire to 'spare' the GGs from the truth, or even from the fantasies.

I took the time to post so many comments in this thread in order to try to point out to whoever might be interested why perhaps some wives (or exes) do not or did not like the CDing. It can be more than a mere distaste for a husband who occasionally wishes to be feminine. In other words, it is more than just about the clothes. GGs do feel the disconnect when there is one. I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but there does seem to be a mindset here that whatever the wife doesn't know won't hurt her, especially when it comes to fantasies or sexual desires.

My point in going on about this (and I apologize to those who feel I am long-winded), is to encourage the CDs who have these fantasies to come clean with their wives, or to work towards bridging a gap if there is one, and to try to incorporate the fantasies in the marriage, even if it means becoming a little more flexible.

I don't buy that its only men doing this, and its probably an equal statistic of women behaving in the same manner.

Jody, I agree and I did mention the possibility in my post on page 12. But I would be willing to bet, if there was such a similar in FAB, that most GGs would much rather make love to their husbands than anyone else.

I do admire the open, alternative relationship you have with your wife. But I do not think this is the norm.