Telling the SO, Bad Reaction, Giving up CD'ing

[Georgi]

I'm not good at the multiple quote thing, so I'll write another summary response:

On the letter thing - Let it go. I did mis-quote the How to Tell You Partner thread. It said to take notes and use them to help you talk to her. I should have done the same, using my letter as a guide to help me talk to my wife. But that's history except for discussion of how to do it better. But quit with the yelling and screaming.

Georgi - I chose this as my name because it's the Russian form of George, so I chose a boy's name for myself for the forum, not a girl's name. I've chosen to give myself a male identity on this forum to help guide myself in trying to stick to my plan of submerging the crossdressing.

The Immature Attitude - Thanks for pointing out that Silhouette surely was talking about the wife. I apologize to Silhouette for flashing back too quickly with an incorrect assumption, I see it now.

Again, multiple posters are encouring me to see that I am and always will be a crossdresser, and I'm setting myself up for unhappiness if I deny that. Folks, I'm already in a place where I'm going to be unhappy about something. Losing my wife of 31 years will kill me. I've sat in the dark just trying to imagine living the rest of my life (I'm only 57) without her and THAT is what depresses the hell out of me. I love this woman and am going to do what it takes to keep her. If that means I am occasionally unhappy about a part of my life that I'm suppressing then so be it. That's probably the best way to look at why I'm boing to cousneling, to learn how to deal with the loss of crossdressing, not so much with trying to 'cure myself.'

A point I will make again to several who have said 'let her go'. That is not going to happen. I've loved this woman for longer than I've even had a life without her, voluntarily letting her go is just not an option for me regardless of what sacrifice I have to make. If we split up it's going to be because she puls herself out of my grasp.

Thanks again for all the input. I love you all,
Georgi