Betrayed

[Lola14U]

Thank you for all your comments. There is a lot of information for me to digest and understand. I felt betrayed as I was not told the extent of his CDing---didnt have a clue. I know now a days lies and dishonestly may not seem like much, but for me it was. Trust is big for me. Maybe I should have titled it... Dishonesty-- to eliminate those who provided feedback that it was too strong of a word. I feel the discription was appropriate for me and am comfortable with not every one agreeing. The point of the issue is I was completely blindsided and had no way of knowing I needed to set these boundaries as I didnt know the issue existed. But I am trying to learn, understand and accept the best I can. I dont see this happening over night and have found this site extremely helpful! Thank you all for your comments and insight-

Thank you for your support. I hope to apply for FAB as it seems like that might be a good place for me to find support.

Bullseye! Thank you for your post and your support!

None of that is relevant to the fact that the OP and her husband had an agreement that the cross-dressing stayed in the bedroom and the husband betrayed the agreement.



Give it up Lori, Raquel is determined to blame the OP for the fact that her husband broke his agreement.

At this point I am not trying to blame anyone...that was never my goal... I am simply trying to understand it.

I sincerely hope that certain posts haven t driven Lola away - God knows, its hard enough to fathom some aspects of CD'ing, and when someone comes to a forum that purports to be a place for support and help, I guess that's what they are hoping to find.

It did somewhat ...but everyone has a right to their opinion. There are several that I totally disagree with but many more are on target. All I can do it is take it one day at a time! Thank You!

OK... against my internal judgement, but here I go. Lola may or may not come back, but if she does (and you are reading this Lola), there will be a lot to read through and digest!

Some great posts here on all levels. I was all fired up and then some latter posts caught it for me... Betrayal is a big word! If I do not tell my SO about something that I do not understand and cannot put into words is it betrayal? Is learning something about yourself but not being sure what it is or what it may (or may not) become, and fearing that if you talk about it, it will cause an issue that you will not be able to discuss with any sense of meaning... betrayal?

My wife has with-held things from me because she felt it was the right thing to do - for me and the family. So have I... We did it out of love and mutual respect - it hurts - but we must look for the positive intention in people's actions, thoughts and attitudes.

As Kim said... it is about trust. I may not like some of things my wife chooses to do or not do, but I trust her intentions... implicitly.

I would imagine each relationship is different. My trust has been broken and I hope in time we can work through it. I am pretty certain if the shoe was on the other foot for you, you may respond differently. Regardless you have your right to your opinion and I appreciate your comments. Thank you!