Can I explain the betrayal (again)!!!!!
If you indulge in bedroom play with your SO that is exactly what it is. You, as a GG SO are in the place you feel safest and what takes place is intimate and trusting.
This is world's away from telling your partner you are CD. The two are entirely unrelated. I have tried to tell countless cders that trying things in the bedroom and then revealing you cd are two completely different issues. Hence the betrayal.
Also, when both of you work to support your children, taking sneaky days off to go out dressed is not a choice but a serious breach of trust
For Lola's SO to now explain away his stash of clothes (the money could have been spent on childrens' clothes or days out) and the rest of his paraphernalia is really starting at the beginning. This will require months of explanation, and a serious effort on his part to regain his wife's trust.
Truly she has been betrayed because deceit, dishonesty, and distrust have no place in mature relationships. This has nothing to do with her misunderstanding the situation, but a horrible shock that she was deceived into behaving one way in the bedroom so that her husband got vicarious thrills at her expense. How foolish will that make her feel?
Then she has to equip herself with the knowledge of cding whilst holding down a full time job, being ill and looking after her family.
This is yet another warning not to mix lingerie play in the bedroom with cding outside of it as an introduction for your partner.
If you want to be part of an adult relationship then at least behave like one.
