The cross dressers fashion dilemma

[ReineD]

While many of us try to dress to blend in, there are just some things that will always betray us, such as facial features, a 5 o' clock shadow, our height, the size of our hands, the way we walk, stand or talk. Those will always give us away and ruin the illusion. In my thinking, once the illusion is blown, the clothes make no difference. And thinking about it, I also take exception to the word "tachy" and should not have used it in my reply. It is judgmental, demeaning and inappropriate.

Yes, I agree with you! For most CDers, it is difficult to pass completely under the radar, to everyone, all the time. My SO manages this pretty well to most people who are in the same room and who are not paying particular attention to us (over-the-top clothing would actually cause people to stare and read her more), but the game is up the minute that she starts to talk to someone at length. But (and this is important), a lot more people accept who she is once they talk to her and see how nice she is, than you might think. We are always treated with respect.

Anyway, the discussion as far as I took it, was not whether a CDer is read, but whether or not s/he presents in a tacky manner. If you do not like that word, you are free to substitute it with one of your own that means the same thing (over-the-top sexy clothing given age and body type). If my SO were to walk around in a "look at me, aren't I sexy" mode, I think that people would take it she does this for fetish rather than as an expression of who she feels she is. There's a big difference between the two.

But, this might just be my own take on it. :p

Edit As for the word "tacky" being judgmental, demeaning, and inappropriate, if I were to walk around dressed as if I was in my 20s and a size 4 (I am in my 50s and a size 8), and my best girlfriend were to say that my outfit looked tacky for my age, honestly I'd appreciate her input and I'd try to look at myself more objectively. Everyone makes fashion mistakes and it takes a good friend to say it like it is. If you had spinach stuck in your teeth, would you want your best friend to not say anything?