Hi Suzy,Originally Posted by Suzy Harrison
Here's my :2c:.
Yep, you're right, I'm going to say it, passing isn't everything. For years, I was a member of 2 support groups, went to the meetings and social activities, hung out in clubs where lots of CD's hung out, I've seen hundreds of MTF CD's up close and in person, and I've seen maybe 2 or 3 who were pretty much passable, and they had undergone electrolysis (didn't have much beard to begin with), used their own long hair, had a naturally slender, female shape, weren't too tall and at least one was on prescription hormones. There may have been cosmetic surgery involved too. Actually, calling them CD's may not be totally accurate, most CD"s don't go the extremes that they did to look female.
And I've met non-passable CD's who go out in public anyway who were as happy as can be, the same as many here. They don't pass, but they're tolerated, which I feel is better than passing. Doesn't meant that going out in public when you're not passable is easy to do, I can't bring myself to do it, but it's what needs to be done if we want to let the world know we're here and that there's nothing to fear. TS's are a different subject entirely, but I've known TS's who weren't passable either, but it didn't stop them.
It's impossible to judge whether someone is passable from just a photo. Yes, in some cases, a photo will tell if someone is really NOT passable, but it's possible to look really good in a photo and not be remotely passable, so posting a photo here and asking if one is passable is a big waste of time, IMO. We can all suggest how to refine your looks, but we can't tell how you carry yourself, whether your voice is feminine or if you speak in a feminine manner, whether your body English and mannerisms are feminine, etc., there's a lot involved in passing.
About all you can do is make sure that everything is as good as you can make it without going crazy, and then get out there like you have been doing. Your time would be better spent working on accepting that you're going to be clocked on occasion than worrying about why you can't pass 100% of the time.
All that said, some things are a bit more important than others when trying to pass. Hair, face and voice are probably 80-90% of the equation, from what I've seen. The other stuff is important, but if your hair and face look very female and your voice sounds female, most people will overlook a lot of other things.
Anyway, regarding your situation, the main thing I would suggest is what some others have picked up on, your wig could be better, as it looks a bit wiggish. If you don't know how to style it, take it to a salon that does wig styling.
You already know that you are capable of going out in public and doing just fine, so get back on the horse and have fun again dear!
Carol
My name is Carol.
