Where am I going wrong ?

[Nicki B]

I'm a bit worried that so many people are mentioning Suzy's hair - of course being blonde will get you looked at, but the idea that a few cm's adjustment here or there will make you passable is a bit, well.... People usually make up their minds on the whole package, at a distance? Like I & others said, you can't tell from a still photo..

And there are plenty of women of a similar age to Suzy out there, wearing their hair bright blonde, even some wearing wigs - why should you have to dress dowdily, if you don't feel it?

And I've met non-passable CD's who go out in public anyway who were as happy as can be, the same as many here. They don't pass, but they're tolerated, which I feel is better than passing. Doesn't meant that going out in public when you're not passable is easy to do, I can't bring myself to do it, but it's what needs to be done if we want to let the world know we're here and that there's nothing to fear. TS's are a different subject entirely, but I've known TS's who weren't passable either, but it didn't stop them.

There's a difference, isn't there, between 'passing' and being 'passable'?

and there's a balance too, between 'blending' and not expressing yourself as you want the world to see you?

All that said, some things are a bit more important than others when trying to pass. Hair, face and voice are probably 80-90% of the equation, from what I've seen. The other stuff is important, but if your hair and face look very female and your voice sounds female, most people will overlook a lot of other things.

IMHO voice is only a few percent - get the other things right and people will discount what they hear, when they get up close, unless it's totally discordant and grates..