well I am now sleeping on the couch and as it stands we have both decided till he makes up his mind that we will act as a married couple but not really be one. as for whats been said I have to thank all of you but I guess in the end the choice was there already. my daughter will always know her father loves her but I cant be with some one. when I got married to him i had the image of a man being a man and this is just some thing I cant wrap my mind around. some of this might be from what my birth dad did to my family but right now in this stage of life I cant deal with this. I have my daughter to worry about and if I am an emotional wreck then I cant take care of her as needed.l my husband will be on his way to germany in febuary and I will be staying here in the states. I brought up the idea of maybe he wasnt really a cross dresser and told him to stay in our marriage I needed him to tell me that knowing how I feel he doesnt want this and he cant. saddly enough that just put in to my mind that this is some thing I know I can not handle. I do need to work through my own issues so maybe us being married isnt a good idea. I will not stop loving him but I know I cant love him for every thing he is. you all tell me I am not a bad wife but for not being able to handle this I feel as if maybe my days of being with any one is over. I never wanted him to be 100% of what I wanted but I know in my heart and soul that this is not some thing I will be able to handle . Its either he doesnt do it and by asking him to do that your right I am asking him to lie to him self about who he is or he goes and finds some one who can accept every thing about him. I guess in a way I feel I am making the right choice for him so he doesnt have to hide this or lie to him self about some thing he truly wants.
