Wow.
Unhappywife, let's see what you have on your plate. You have a (relatively) new marriage, a new baby, issues w/ post-partum depression, a husband who is being deployed to Germany soon leaving you at home alone, unresolved childhood trauma which is directly tied in w/ crossdressing, as well as intimacy issues w/ the husband and all that can do to your and his self esteem. Hmm......
W/ this all on your plate, now is not the time to make any major decisions.
Take a deep breath, and step back.
Raquel (sp? apologies if I got your name wrong) just gave you a dose of tough love, and although the message is harsh, she has some good points. I disagree w/ her that you are a terrible person, you just have a lot of things swirling around in your head right now and must feel so lost.
There is a theory that you subconsciously choose your life partner in order to work out unresolved issues from your childhood. There is a huge opportunity for you to have some major growth here. What you do w/ that opportunity is up to you.
You do need your husband to explain what he wants to accomplish w/ his crossdressing and what he wants to get out of it, without that you don't really know what you are dealing w/.
Sick around, keep posting so you can join the FAB forum, there is a lot of great info on this site.
