Stephanie,Originally Posted by sissystephanie
I totally disagree with Obsessed's statement. You ARE hurting someone when you lie and deceive them!! Marriage is now, and always has been, a two way street. Or better stated, a two person situation. Honest and open communication must always be the way to handle things. And that means from the very beginning, BEFORE the marriage.
Lisa's wife married a real man! But that man likes to wear women's clothing! She did not know that, because he never thought to tell her, and give her the option of saying NO to his proposal. Was that fair to her..........not in any sense of the word!
I am truly sorry if a 30 year marriage has to end like this, but you know deep in your heart that it is entirely your fault!! If you really truly love her, and after 30 years I would think so, you can give up Lisa in order to keep her! You have to decide what is more important! Satisfying your own desires, or keeping the lady you loved enough to marry! I have been a CD for over 60 years, but if a certain lady told me to stop being Stephanie I would in a heartbeat! My love for her is strong enough that I know that I could stop being Stephanie. My dear late wife, who was fully supportive from before our marriage, once asked me to stop being Stephanie! I did, and one year later she handed me a pair of panties and a bra and told me it was time for Stephanie to reappear!
I agree with you about taking responsibility. It is truly a confusing place for a wife to be after thinking she married a "manly man".. But sometimes situations like that are unavoidable because we ourselves are so confused by it. I don't know Lisa's whole story but it very much mirrors what I am currently going through.. I met my wife when I was 20 in 1983. She was 18. we dated for a long time and got married in 1992.. I was still trying to figure out what I was at that time and was young and full of guilty feelings for thinking I was a freak. I wasn't going to to tell ANYONE!! I thought it would pass.. Sure, I put it on the back burner for a long time but it A L W A Y S comes back! More guilty feelings, and now being married for a few years. Thought I could give it up again.. Tried.. Didn't work.. Long story short.. She found out.. They ALWAYS will eventually.. She was understandably shocked.. At first she said it turned her on, then she did an immediate about face and it's now sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.. She says "I'm the one with the problem" and will not see a therapist with me.. She doesn't want to know about it and I'm realistic enough to know you CAN NOT give it up! It is a part of you just as much as your skin is! You can deny it and put it on the back burner for a while but you are just being unrealistic. You can't quit this even for someone you love! You'll just be lying even more! That being said, I can only imagine being put in that place myself. If my wife wanted to put hair on her face and a bulge in her pants I would be devastated.. I don't know what will happen with my marriage but I try to bring it up from time to time cause I know communication is the key..I love her very very much and hope she will one day want to open the lines of communication.. I AM the same person she's known since 1983! I AM a great father to our daughter! I AM a great provider, and I AM a crossdresser! :2c: Sorry for the rant!!
