I'll give my two cents here. I'm no relationship expert but I do know how I feel. I don't believe that love (unlike many other things) has a gray area. You either have true love where the two of you love and accept one another unconditionally or you have false love where your pseudo-love is based on how the other person benefits you in various ways. Despite what we are taught, love and relationships are also two different things. You may have to break up with a spouse because the relationship for whatever reason is not working but if you have true love for them that still will not change even though you two are apart.

To get to the point, regardless of how much you may love your spouse if you are not in control of your life then you cannot have a successful relationship no matter how hard you try. How can you please your wife if you can't please yourself? Likewise, if pleasing your wife means doing things that make you unhappy is it really worth it? I have little tolerance over manipulation by others after I've been burned so many times. I was in a relationship with a TS woman who started becoming increasingly controlling to where I would have to explain why I purchased a Starbucks coffee with my own money. Finally I just had enough and when she made some snide remark such as "What is more important: me or your Taco Bell?" I said the "Taco Bell" and proceeded to pack my bags and left. Your spouse may not approve of your crossdressing like other things but in my opinion the second your spouse starts controlling you, the relationship is dysfunctional. The spouse will continue to get more controlling and more suspicious and you will get more unhappy.

So the moral of the story is that if your life situation requires you to choose between CDing and remaining in a relationship with your spouse then I believe it is time to separate/divorce. You cannot be happy with yourself and your life if you are not in control of your own destiny but someone else is and especially if such control is harmful. I'm sure a lot of people here are tangled financially and otherwise (i.e. children) with their wives/spouses. If that is the case then that is a shame. Not to sound harsh here but I do believe in personal responsibility and therefore you should never have gotten yourself into a mess that you cannot get out of in the first place. Maybe it is just me but no matter how long I've been in a relationship I still don't hand over all the keys so to speak. I've heard too many horror stories of long-term relationships where the spouse cleans out their bank accounts, takes all of their stuff, and publically ruins their reputation. If you can't trust your spouse to work with you over a complicated and contraversial issue then time to find a new spouse who will. Britney