Let she who has never lied cast the first stone.

Cause studies have shown that even in anonymous surveys many poeple lie. For example men exaggerate upwards their number of sexual partners in their sexual history and women exaggerate the same thing downwards. Both lying. Plenty of people, almost a third, both men and women equally, cheat on their partners. Liars.

And in day to day life most people lie plenty every single day.

Also and even more importantly people retain a right to privacy even in marriage from their spouse!

Now that makes a lot of people uncomfortable but it is so. It was something womens-rights campainers fought for!

Almost everyone has secrets they wish to keep. Secret attractions, secret fantasies.

People often dont tell their partner that they find other people attractive, or that they fantasise about other people.

About 1/3rd of the audience of pornography is female and that proportion is swiftly growing. I'm sure plenty are not being open about that.

Heck the amount of American women who have had voluntary sex with a dog is said to be more than 1% which if so would make them more common than some estimates of TSs!

Do you think the bestialist GGs have confessed their past unethical and illegal abusive sex with an unable-to-give-informed-consent animal to their husbands?

When many have not disclosed their true number of past sexual partners to their husbands I'm certain many GGs have skeletons in their closet too.

And such secrets are often not of being guilty of crimes or of having fetishes or fantasies. Most victims of abuse, physical and/or sexual, as adults or children do not tell their partners. Men and women both. For fear of what people will think of them, of their judgement or because they just dont want to or dont feel able to talk about it! 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men are the current estimate figures for being victims of sexual abuse.

The kind of honesty people are expecting of others is in fact extraordinarily rare. That all CDs spouses, every single one, are so completely 100% honest beggars belief. It's likely less probable than the loch ness monster falling through my ceiling while singing yankee doodle dandee in the next 5 minutes.

People also have a right to change their mind. They have a right to change as a person. They have a right to total and final say over their own bodies even in relationships no matter the circumstances. They have a right to their own private property.

Even were CDing to be a hobby it is unethical and emotional blackmail for one partner to make such a conditional demand on their spouse. To bargain is one thing, request too is fine. To decide that one cannot handle something and leave is all fine. But to demand a person become responsible for your own decision to leave or not, to use the threat of leaving in order to obtain a desired result is unethical pure and simple.

But the choice to leave (or end the relationship), if it is a choice, belongs to the person who chooses to leave (or end the relationship).

If we extend the responsibility for the decision from the chooser to the person whose circumstances/actions/words prompted that choice then logically the choice to hide being a CD for example is no longer the CDs responsibility but that of all those whose statements and actions led them to believe that was a good course of action or something they should hide.

And with the existence of GID a currently recognised condition and with CDing thouroughly under-studied the presumption that CDing is a choice that can easilly be discarded is an unfair one.

Logically both the CD and GG should be more worried about the nearly 1 in 3 chance their partner is cheating, risking bringing STDs into their marital bed.

But if the CD needs to be a CD and/or the GG needs them not to be a CD regardless of whether there was honesty or acceptance about it from the start and/or a need or circumstance or feelling about it that changes or is discovered to be different and they cannot change that need then that is their need and the other cannot and should not be made responsible for what decisions they make if they cannot have that need met. If both have that need then neither is responsible for the failure of the realtionship!

And thus far, in most cases and maybe all CDs cannot quit being a CD and cannot try without risk to long-term mental health. I'm certain that some GGs cannot remain in a relationship with a CD.

Now consider that the people who create a climate of fear and shame and hiding around CDing might be able to be considered culpable in the CDs who hide that fact from their SOs,...

In which case if we look at the big picture then creating a situation of such increased acceptance of CDs that most feel able to be open and honest about being Cd without fear of reprisal or negative consequence for it so that CDs can be open from the start and find accepting SOs from the outset and all GGs can know full well that CDs exist and their partner may be one is a serious necessity and obligation for everyone.