Blackmail

[Presh GG]

Thalia, I don't think she'll do anything , unlike everybody else , you said she's changed to sexy undies.
She's crying herself to sleep.
She is'nt into the expencive property, ... just her " favorites "

she's hurt from the years of hideing.

She needs help.
OMG , IT"S ONLY BEEN 3 MONTHS, TALK IT OUT ;
HER EMOTIONS ARE SWINGING CRAZY.
SHE NEEDS YOU MORE NOW THAN AT ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
SHE's scared, confused.
WELL YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN WE DO, IS ANY OF THIS VALID ?

BUT AT THE SAME TIME PROTECT YOURSELF.
[B]PLEASE DON'T ANYBODY SHOOT ME ! IT'S JUST A GG'S POINT OF VIEW.
RESPECTFULLY, springtime

[JulieC]

Thalia, I don't think she'll do anything , unlike everybody else , you said she's changed to sexy undies.
She's crying herself to sleep.
She is'nt into the expencive property, ... just her " favorites "

she's hurt from the years of hideing.

She needs help.
OMG , IT"S ONLY BEEN 3 MONTHS, TALK IT OUT ;
HER EMOTIONS ARE SWINGING CRAZY.
SHE NEEDS YOU MORE NOW THAN AT ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
SHE's scared, confused.
WELL YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN WE DO, IS ANY OF THIS VALID ?

BUT AT THE SAME TIME PROTECT YOURSELF.
[B]PLEASE DON'T ANYBODY SHOOT ME ! IT'S JUST A GG'S POINT OF VIEW.
RESPECTFULLY, springtime

No reason to shoot you

You see it from a different point of view. That's fine. Most of us see a different view from yours. None of us are right or wrong, because none of us know for sure.

[Shelly67]

Thalia, I don't think she'll do anything , unlike everybody else , you said she's changed to sexy undies.
She's crying herself to sleep.
She is'nt into the expencive property, ... just her " favorites "

she's hurt from the years of hideing.

She needs help.
OMG , IT"S ONLY BEEN 3 MONTHS, TALK IT OUT ;
HER EMOTIONS ARE SWINGING CRAZY.
SHE NEEDS YOU MORE NOW THAN AT ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
SHE's scared, confused.
WELL YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN WE DO, IS ANY OF THIS VALID ?

BUT AT THE SAME TIME PROTECT YOURSELF.
[B]PLEASE DON'T ANYBODY SHOOT ME ! IT'S JUST A GG'S POINT OF VIEW.
RESPECTFULLY, springtime

A last .

[DanaR]

I would have to agree with everyone that suggested you get a lawyer ASAP. I sounds like she doesn't like the size of her cut and wants a bigger one or as much as she can get.

[Thalia]

Thalia, I don't think she'll do anything , unlike everybody else , you said she's changed to sexy undies.
She's crying herself to sleep.
She is'nt into the expencive property, ... just her " favorites "

she's hurt from the years of hideing.

She needs help.
OMG , IT"S ONLY BEEN 3 MONTHS, TALK IT OUT ;
HER EMOTIONS ARE SWINGING CRAZY.
SHE NEEDS YOU MORE NOW THAN AT ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
SHE's scared, confused.
WELL YOU KNOW HER BETTER THAN WE DO, IS ANY OF THIS VALID ?

BUT AT THE SAME TIME PROTECT YOURSELF.
[B]PLEASE DON'T ANYBODY SHOOT ME ! IT'S JUST A GG'S POINT OF VIEW.
RESPECTFULLY, springtime

Springtime: After all the responses I was pleased to see yours. I've received so much advice - some of it hinting towards violence -- and am glad to see someone (there are a few others) who seem to have a better understanding of what's actually going on here. Believe me, my wife is not evil. I'll still speak with an attorney but I honestly think the issue is more about trust and the years of my deception rather than the crossdressing. She doesn't speak as much about that. I believe there's hope that she will accept me as I am. It's taken me so long to accept myself.

[Amelia Moxon]

Even if she is emotionally confused she has no right to try and blackmail you. Get a lawyer and for god's sake don't sign a thing.

Amelia xxx

[Crysten]

Out yourself to everyone. EVERYONE. You don't have to be dressed to do it, just tell them. Difficult, painful, yes, BUT....will take the wind out of her pirate heart, that's for sure. You may lose some friends, you may lose some clients, but you will still have your self respect, and you will have completely eliminated the situation, on your own terms.

Years ago, I was outed to basically everyone I work with. No blackmail involved. You would be suprised - 95% of the people don't care, and the 5% who do care, aren't people I care to associate with anyhow.

Your kids will be your kids regardless of whether they know or not. Same goes with the rest of your family - my guess is that the 95/5 rule will probably apply with the family as well.

End of blackmail. Maybe a divorce, but who knows, it was probably coming anynow. Burying your femme self will fail - read the forums, everyone who's tried this fails, almost across the board.

Best of luck to you.

Crysten

[Karen564]

Springtime: After all the responses I was pleased to see yours. I've received so much advice - some of it hinting towards violence -- and am glad to see someone (there are a few others) who seem to have a better understanding of what's actually going on here. Believe me, my wife is not evil. I'll still speak with an attorney but I honestly think the issue is more about trust and the years of my deception rather than the crossdressing. She doesn't speak as much about that. I believe there's hope that she will accept me as I am. It's taken me so long to accept myself.

Thalia,
I'm very happy for you, being that you have finally found the answer you were looking for.. After all, you know your wife much better than anyone, and obviously know that she loves you with all her heart and would never hurt you....So it sounds like you have nothing to worry about now..I'm very sorry I posted what I did.....And I wish you the best of luck..

[CharlotteW]

Karen564, I think you just said what I was thinking.

Thalia, I'm sorry for not being PC or pseudo-supportive, it's my nature to 'tell it like it is' and sometimes I wish I had kept my big mouth shut.
Sincerely, good luck. [hand on heart]

[Sophie A Walker]

I would ask one question: How long are you willing to be blackmailed for?

If your answer is 'for the rest of your life' then sign everything you own over to her right now and commit yourself to paying her everything you earn for the rest of your life.

If your answer is not 'for the rest of your life' then get legal help ASAP.

Blackmailers never stop.

Ever.

[Lee Andrews]

Springtime: After all the responses I was pleased to see yours. I've received so much advice - some of it hinting towards violence -- and am glad to see someone (there are a few others) who seem to have a better understanding of what's actually going on here. Believe me, my wife is not evil. I'll still speak with an attorney but I honestly think the issue is more about trust and the years of my deception rather than the crossdressing. She doesn't speak as much about that. I believe there's hope that she will accept me as I am. It's taken me so long to accept myself.

You know your wife the best and I hope there is something you left out or couldn't express in writing that adds to the story. I know there have been a few times I have posted something that made sense to me and others have taken it the wrong way because I couldn't express it properly or chose the wrong word and it is taken out of context.

I think most people here are good hearted and just want to help with their experiences.

All the best.

[Nadia-Maria]

Springtime: After all the responses I was pleased to see yours. I've received so much advice - some of it hinting towards violence -- and am glad to see someone (there are a few others) who seem to have a better understanding of what's actually going on here.

It still appears rather unclear to me what you were really looking for by opening this thread requesting for advice.

What is blatant now, is you are criticizing most members who basically simply tried to help you - upon your very request.

This behaviour of yours seems questionable, to say the least.

Nevertheless I hope the best for you.

[Miranda09]

Just to put my 2 cents in, I think the arguement that you deceived her is rediculous. You didn't tell her initially because you were afraid. Trust takes time to build. It's NOT given freely just because you marry someone. Even after marriage, trust takes time. Don't let anyone tell you that you decieved her because you didn't tell her initially. She even said that if she had known from the beginning she would not have married you. This isnt like you were sleeping with everyone woman in the state or selling drugs on the side. I think you have to ask yourself why you married her in the first place. Was it because your were love with or just in love with the idea of beling in love with her. Obviously we dont know her as a person, and she might be good, but this is no way treat someone you allegedly love...thru better OR for worse. Remember that line?????

[Sheila]

Just to put my 2 cents in, I think the arguement that you deceived her is rediculous. You didn't tell her initially because you were afraid. Trust takes time to build. It's NOT given freely just because you marry someone. Even after marriage, trust takes time.

I may be way off base here, but if you don't TRUST someone why the hell are you marrying them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Miranda09]

I may be way off base here, but if you don't TRUST someone why the hell are you marrying them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting married to someone doesnt necessarily mean you trust one another. I've seen many instances where people get married but the trust wasn't there. I am an example of that. When I got married...a lifetime ago, I was madly in love with her. Yet no matter what I did, I could never fully gain her trust. So, marriage does not always equal trust. But if you've achieved that, more power to you.

[CD Susan]

I CAN'T BELIEVE you are still lving with this evil person! I CAN'T BELIEVE you have not hired a lawyer yet. I CAN'T BELIEVE that you do not have the backbone to stand up to this b_tch. Like someome else said you need to grow a pair. Sorry for being so blunt but I hate seeing someone being walked all over like this.

[Shelly67]

I CAN'T BELIEVE you are still lving with this evil person! I CAN'T BELIEVE you have not hired a lawyer yet. I CAN'T BELIEVE that you do not have the backbone to stand up to this b_tch. Like someome else said you need to grow a pair. Sorry for being so blunt but I hate seeing someone being walked all over like this.

I was gonna keep quiet , but I,ve had enough its got my goat so I,m replying .I,d was hoping things would have quietened down , but it still keeps coming . This is my opinion , I may be wrong in some of the members eyes , but at least I am not disrespectful . I may even get scolded by admin , but here goes ..........

I gotta ask a question -
Has anyone on here really considered Thalias feelings or his emotions ?? For gods sake it's his wife - he LOVES her !!!
He has admitted in the replies he,s made mistakes , that his wife has retaliated in pain and torment and that they are seeking professional help TOGETHER . Remember that THEY ARE SEEKING HELP TOGETHER .

I would have liked to have thought a little respect for these peoples age needs to be considered too .

And the guys integrity .

Think about his wife . She's discovered her partner has secretly been meeting other cd's , harmless as it may have been ,I bet she's is worried sick it's been for casual sex . This would kill any womens trust , make her feel so unwanted , so undesired . Perhaps thats why she now has taken to sexier underwear ? She may have been so hurt her reaction was to give different reasons : If you wanna dress , do it at home , no more going out , and if need be an ultimatum will secure this . Its knee jerk , but understandable . When you really love someone we've all said the cruelist of things , behaved totally out of character . Has anyone considered this ?
Think on , theres so many crossdressers on this site , keeping theyre lives so secret , afraid of the consequences were theyre wives to find out . We,ve all been there . Is that why so many of us hide away ?? We simply do NOT want to damage our relationship or emotionally want to hurt our partners . So if it were to happen the last thing we,d want is to be misunderstood when asking for advice or in some cases condemmed when we,re really hurting .
But still the insults come . How can anyone one here jump the gun so readily ? Theres far too much venom on this matter .
Theres another thing to consider . AND READ THIS AND THINK - he,s relatively a newbie , very very few posts . And yet for this thread and his asking for advice ( at the time he was so emotional he found everything difficult , vague even , his plea for help short , but surely thought provoking ) so what does he get in return ?
I think there are a few who have jumped on him and set about him like a pack of wolves . Not exactly an enticing prospect to a newbie is it ?
Remember - he LOVES her - consider his feelings .He must have been worried sick when this all came out - who wouldnt be if they didnt want to lose the person who means the most .? How could anyone take anything seriously with such name calling whilst your emotionally unstable ? Thats not support .Its bad enough coming to terms with being a newly outed crossdresser - and I mean for both parties !!

Even for those who have been readily accepted must agree that is very stressfull .

And I,m without doubt if anyone called our parters such names we,d be hurt and bl**dy fuming . Never mind feeling unconsidered . Its not helping is it ??

Oh , and don,t you think in replying to someone in this manner IS literally walking all over them??
Its not blunt .
Its downright uncourteous and rude .

And the whole thing , for people who wish to dress and behave as females it just shows its non compassionate and very unlady like .

I just wish this thread were locked , closed or even deleted , because believe me its doing more harm than good . If it were my thread , I,d have certainly asked for it to have been . Both these poor folks are really hurting . This marriage does not need vented angst in any manner at all . Its turned into petty quibbling .They certainly don,t need to read these unthoughtful remarks adding insult to injury . If there is any doubt they won't make it then at least show REAL SUPPORT FOR A FORUM MEMBER . The last thing he needs is kicking when he,s down. And if the greater were to be achieved , counselling were to work his wife to openly accept his crossdressing and move on ( remember she now lets him dress considerably ) then I,m sorry this thread will be looked upon with great remorse BY THEM BOTH . It hasn't been very nice has it ?

Oh and for the one member who has considered my input as nothing more than lube in a dry rape , that disgusts me . To me rape is the most horrible hiddeous crime .


Thalia , to you and youre partner , all the very best , no matter what the outcome . I,m sure after all those years together you,ll progress to be able to see through blame , horror disbelief and move on one way or the other. It may take help , perhaps a long time but I sincerely hope this chapter in youre life passes , grows every day in acceptance , towards building a new trust worthy life together emerging into the type of partnership that every man and women ( let a alone crossdressing man ) can only crave and desire .
Good luck .


END OF SERMONN.

[Presh GG]

MISTRESS MICHELLE,


[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Red"]AMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!
[SIZE="2"
AND I THINK YOU"RE A HELL OF A LADY .
springtime gg[/SIZE]

[Thalia]

It still appears rather unclear to me what you were really looking for by opening this thread requesting for advice.

What is blatant now, is you are criticizing most members who basically simply tried to help you - upon your very request.

This behaviour of yours seems questionable, to say the least.

Nevertheless I hope the best for you.

Nadia-Maria: When one has a problem, it is natural to ask for advice. I am certain that in your lifetime you have done so. Do you always agree with the advice given? Do you always take the advice given? I may have felt that the responses were unnecessarily harsh, even suggesting violence, but I understand that this advice came as a result of people's own experiences. I don't have to agree with everything said.

[cindym5_04]

I brought this up to my wife this weekend to gain another perspective from a GG. She agreed with the notion that your wife has already consulted a lawyer and is planning to divorce you in the not-so-distant future. She's getting everything lined up so that she can get the most out of the divorce proceedings. As for her wearing the sexy panties to bed, she's using that to control and distract you, so that you won't think about her planning things out. My wife said that for you to not to think that she would do something like that, you're being naive, because apparently she's already doing it and working on it. My wife also agreed that you should come out to your friends and clients on what is going on since it really would be best for them to find out from you than from someone else. She also recommended that you talk to a lawyer and to not sign anything. If there is anything that she wants you to sign regarding this, it should be passed over to your lawyer for review.