WOW !
As Captain Barbossa said "There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates."
Its going to take time to digest both of your posts, but here is my first impression.
Batty: I agree with everthing you said, that would be the perfect way to go, but, we don't live in the perfect world.
Reine: I only dissagree with one thing in your post, "there IS a difference between being honest with a life-long partner and honesty with everyone else", Honesty is the same for ALL.
Here is what I am trying to say, When someone asks if I am a crossdresser, I do not hesitate saying Yes! There are people that know me well, that do not know I am a crossdresser, and I do not feel I am being dishonest with them, they just have not seen, or asked me.
To quote another movie "The Matrix"
Morpheus: There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
Mouse: to deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.
Oracle: Do you know what that means? It means know thy self.
The MOST important person you need to be honest with, Your Self !
