Quote Originally Posted by deborah jane View Post
Most people i know in my life i would never tell, there is no reason to tell them and with many it would have a negative impact on our relationship if i did.

But by the same token, if i was planning to spend the rest of my life with someone, i would try to be totally honest from the start and would expect the same in return!
But wouldn't telling an SO before making a life commitment involve the same risk?

and wouldn't waiting for her to be in love enough that your both ready to make that committment be bieng already unfair if honesty up-front is important?

Also, you suggest you have no reason to tell anyone else.. but consider these points. (and by WE i mean both CDs and GGs too)

* if we are the ones to most know transphobia exists and we do nothing, aren't we then most responsible for it's continued existence? and the suffering others will endure?

* if transphobia is the main reason people aren't told up front and we do nothing to stop it aren't we partly responsible for other wives not being told from the start?

* if transphobia causes a 50% suicide attempt rate and we are the ones with the most power to stop it and dont arent we responsible for the deaths?

* if the TS gene or one or more like it is the cause of CDing doesnt that mean that not trying to reduce or stop transphobia is negligence to our families?

Now I certainly don't suggest coming out is the only way to resolve those points... but as we are the ones who right now are most aware of these issues, are we not then the ones respobsible for them?