Straight guys and transsexual women...

[Blaire]

One thing this experience suggests to me is that, if an experienced straight guy can spend ten minutes in daylight between my legs without realizing that I'm transgender, there is no significant physical difference at this point between me and any other random "genetic" woman lumbering around the mall... the difference is in the straight male brain, not necessarily in our beautiful transgender female bodies.

Part of the drive for guys is to propegate the species. Maybe he's a neanderthal, and maybe he's not. Maybe he's anti-something, and maybe he's not. Lost in the discussion so far (I'm only on page 4!) is that in this case, he knows up front that he can't continue his line - so why try (again)? Concious thought, instinctual feeling, or phobia laden jerk, it doesn't really matter - that part of "being a man" is lost. The strength of that drive has an impact, as much as does being a neanderthal.

That's about the only reason to "have to" disclose that you're a TS too. Your future hubby really doesn't want to hear it from the fertility clinic, any more than some of the guys on other parts of this forum don't want their wives to find the box in the back of the file cabinet.

So you believe that our only obligation to a prospective mate would be to disclose the fact that we can't reproduce? His freedom to choose whether or not he wants to be married to a transsexual is irrelevant, because the transperson is a woman? When he asks why we can't have children do we add another little
white lie into the mix?

In truth, isn't reproduction the only difference? Other than that, are you not physically, mentally, emotionally, and legally a woman? Couldn't "why" be put in the same bin as "how many others have you had before me?"