Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
I'm a CD'er and my GF accepts it. The deal is with me is I laid it all out. I had to explain to her that I have been doing this since age 7. It has become more about my self-expression than sexual. I am so infatuated with the feminine mystique that i like to emulate it in all it's forms. There's nothing gay about this. I would have to think about being with guys in order to be gay....it hasn't happened. I thought about transition about a million times but I always come back to the same place, which is I love my guy side and don't want to give it up. I'm just a regular dude who likes women, but I have an additional side.
My girlfriend of 2 months knows that i go out en femme to places and realizes that I need to in order to keep myself together, though I have not been out in public more than a month ago. I guess I'm lucky that she's that udnerstanding, but there's still a lot of road for me to cover, therefore it's silly for me to comment further.
When I retire, I plan on being an artist and making Nathalie a more integral part of my life but I have no desire to live full time.

My advice for all is to open up, and tell your life story, and be honest and forthcoming form the get go. This will avoid pain and tragic scenarios down the road. I think the problem is many CD'ers admit to themselves that they are CD'ers halfway through the marriage, and then have problems coming out.
With reference to your last paragraph: That you have opened up and found someone who may be able to accept that aspect of your personality is wonderful...for you. Good for you.

I came out to a girlfriend (prospective wife) and was ridiculed, threatened , and blackmailed. My fears of anyone finding out about the real me were confirmed. That relationship did not last, obviously.

Then, I met my current wife. Having just lost a relationship because of CDing, there was no way on earth that I was going to ever admit this "quirk" again. And, I "controlled" it for the first 10-12 years of marriage (kids and no internet). But, kids got older and didn't need as much from the parents (except $) and we got the internet. Whoa, there are a lot of people just like me out there. Then, she found out and things are no longer even close to good. And, I understand that this wasn't part of the marriage bargain. But, in all honesty, what are we to do? Are we to go through life without a partner and without kids. Someone else on another thread pointed out that the odds of finding an accepting woman are close to slim I see both sides, but it seems that the deck is stacked against us.

I, greatly, admire all of the girls who have come out to their SO. I admire, even more greatly, their SO's who love them unconditionally and accept this aspect of their personality. It just isn't that way in my marriage and it never will be. And, Cheryl wants out of the cage.

And, with due respect to the poster who said that we can quit...maybe...but at what price to one's sanity and emotional well-being? Whether I dress or not, there isn't a day when I don't want to dress.

I guess there is no answer. There is no solution. I am what I am , the world is as it is, and I don't fit.