Too Close for Comfort

[ReineD]

If it goes through then I will be working with her a lot. Very bad situation because if I blow it, it could cause an uncomfortable work environment. The other part is what bothers me the most. If I can't be honest with her then I have no business being with her.

The risk then isn't whether you should tell her about the CDing or not, but whether you should mix business with a personal relationship. What if you weren't a CD, it never crossed your mind ... then you begin a love affair with her, the business deal goes through, she's your main contact, and a few months later the relationship falls apart for any number of non-CD reasons.

What then? Could you continue to work with an ex-lover? Maybe there's a good reason behind the adage that you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, regardless of whether or not you CD.

It's a tough one Michelle. It's too bad she has to be the main contact.

But if you're OK with the possibility of working with an ex-lover, if you think you could still be friends should the relationship fall through, then the added knowledge that you CD isn't much of an added issue, is it? Take your time, get to know her character, her value system, and then decide whether you want to begin a relationship.

Or rather, the two of you should discuss the wisdom of entering a relationship together given the business connection. Would she be OK continuing to work with you if the relationship should fall apart? Is she pragmatic? Emotionally mature? Easy going? Have that conversation with her first, and then you'll be in a better position to know whether you should even go for it, before you talk about the CDing.

If you both weigh the risk of having it not work out and continuing to work together, then chances are she'll respect your privacy about a number of things should you break up, including your intimate lives together and the CDing.