Some deep stuff here.
"Am I the man she married?" There's not really an easy answer.
Although everyone evolves and develops over the years does the basis of who we are remain unchanged?
The Johari Window, developed at the University of California in the 1950s, represents the four parts of Self. Lots of links on the web. In the quadrant "Known to Self" / "Unknown to Others" is "My Hidden Self". Guess where CDing would be for most of us.........
So even if it's there, it is a part of who we are. Coming out just moves it into another quadrant.
Or maybe the real question should be "Am I the man she thought she married?".
That moves into a whole different arena.
