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Thread: The man she married. Really?

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  1. #20
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Satrana, thanks for your comments.

    My post was based on my interactions with the GGs in this forum over the years. Their feelings may be justified, or they may be completely irrational. But the feelings do exist and I was attempting to explain why some of the GGs feel the way they do. I may not have used the best examples, since each couple has their own issues.

    The importance is that GGs do feel a shift of attention or focus when a husband explores the CDing, and the GGs who say their husbands are not the men they married say this in part because they feel left out of the picture, compared to the way it was before they knew about the CDing and before it has progressed. I've no doubt that a GG who has become a golf widow would say the same thing. She feels that her priority in her husband's life has also changed and it is just as difficult for her.

    But getting back to the CDing, not all GGs will feel the shift to the same degree. The severity of it depends on the degree of pink fog and the quality of communication between them, and yes, a GGs own difficulty in adjusting her expectations of her changed position as the one and only woman in the relationship. Some (if not most?) GGs want to be married to men who identify as men, no matter how either gender roles have changed in the last century.

    I disagree that the changing of societal roles has made men and women more androgynous, or has approached the gender gap in significantly deeper ways than the ability to earn income or vote. It wasn't too many centuries ago that no one could vote, not even men. This is a very sketchy example, but I have in mind a picture of a family on a farm generations ago. The man had his work in the fields, and the woman had hers in the kitchen garden and in the home, which was just as physically taxing for her as his work was for him. They both contributed to the best of their abilities to the family's welfare. I don't think women feel more masculine just because they earn a salary now, or that men feel more feminine when they do more around the house in a two-income family. I don't know that any of this has significantly altered their dynamics in the bedroom. But, I could be wrong. It's a difficult thing to analyze and quantify.
    Last edited by ReineD; 08-02-2010 at 04:58 PM.
    Reine

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