The husband may be the same in all other respects than presentation, taking into account changes brought about by normal aging and through life enriching experiences, but the thing that sources him, what sets off his passion has shifted significantly in ways that understandably cause a wife to feel as if her husband is not the man she married.

Apart from all the normal life changes, if it were just the presentation that is now altered, there would not be a significant difference in the husband now compared to years ago pre CD, or before he began to identify so solidly as a woman or as trans.

But the gender focus has changed significantly, and with it, some telling behaviors in the romance department. Where previously he might have been more guy-like in pursuing his wife (letting her know in no uncertain terms that she turns him on), he now is more passive, possibly preferring her to chase him (or to initiate), to the point where she wonders if he finds his femme self more attractive or more exciting than his wife. Where previously he would have loved to have seen his wife in sexy things and he would have enjoyed giving them to her, now he prefers these things for himself. Where he might have seen a beautiful piece of jewelry and like other guys he might have wanted to please her with it just to see her eyes light up, now he wants it for himself. Where before he loved to spend time with her, doing things with her, now nothing excites him more than to go out dressed and experience life with people whom he believes treat him like a woman.

I'm not writing these things as a put-down or as a way to imply that the husbands become lesser men through the CDing, as nothing can be further from the truth. But the focus does change in ways that many GGs find difficult to understand, since they fundamentally still want to be in relationships with men who believe themselves to be men and who treat their wives like women.

How does a wife change? Also through the usual life enriching experiences: maturation through aging and having had children, perhaps a few extra pounds, maybe now she is in a career after having spent more time at home with the kids, but fundamentally her romantic focus is the same. As is her gender. Except maybe she is more distant now through the self-protective measures she's taken after perceiving her husband's focus shift away from her through the years.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, and I know I'm not describing everyone here. But I attempted to describe the types of things that make a woman believe that her husband is not the man she married. He's much more a woman now.