Quote Originally Posted by Frédérique View Post
[SIZE="2"]. . . You are a sensualist, like it or not, even though you may not even consider this “side” of the coin. I know, there are all kinds of MtF crossdressers, but I like to believe that there is a little more going on under the surface, independent of the clothing, which makes us embrace these sensual pleasures. …

. . . The reaction herein to this off-hand mention of culture seems to reinforce my belief that males believe in and cultivate a perpetual state of deadened senses, which happens to be the whole point of this thread.

. . . The idea I’m trying to get across is sadness at the current state of affairs, where saying something innocuous like “I can smell the rosemary in the gravy” will set you apart from most males in the immediate vicinity, not to mention the officially sanctioned and accepted view of males in our society. The whole thing is a metaphor, get it? [/SIZE]
This thread saddens me, as well as increasing my considerable crush on Reine. I have enjoyed the musings of Frédérique, but this one seems so judgmental and defensive. If your reference to culture is really only a metaphor, then how do you measure the distribution of "sensuality"? What about the stereotypical "live life in the fast lane, overload the senses" males?

It is the implied value judgments that bother me. I am the son of an 18 year old high school dropout. Her four boys had no exposure to "high" culture, but were taught the value of integrity and authenticity. I worked hard, married the daughter of an art professor (still don't know how I managed that), and got a PhD. I sometimes feel like Eliza Dolittle when trying to reconnect with my high school dropout brother, but I am sometimes amazed by his sensitivities to the people and the world around him. Does it really matter that when we are feeling emotional, I like to listen to Aaron Copland and he prefers Johnny Cash?

There is a 19th Century philosophy called Utilitarianism, which attempts to strip away such normative judgments. It's founder is famous for a quote: "Pushpin is as good as poetry." It means that the pleasure you get from bowling is no different from the pleasure of reading poetry. How could we, as a group who celebrates diversity, place a higher value on being able to discern the ingredients in gravy than on opinions on the perfect cheeseburger? I can't tell one beer from another, whereas my brother has a very discerning palate. Does that make him more "sensual" than me?

To state that "my belief that males believe in and cultivate a perpetual state of deadened senses" baffles me, and leads me to believe that you are defining this by your own standards of sensuality. My art professor father-in-law once told me about a discussion between an art patron and a critic. "I know what I like," the patron declared. "No," the critic responded, "you like what you know." All of us are sensualists. You just quite naturally prefer your indulgence in sensuality to theirs.

Liz