You can still care for someone even if you decide to get a divorce and move on with your lives. You can still be friends and be happy for eachother. The only thing, is making that move BEFORE you stress the entire sittuation to a point where you simply hate the other person (which happens as you drag things out with lies after lies, or broken promises *kinda like the OP's promise for only panties and bra's*).
The kids? There are a lot of arrangements that you can do. Having one home is probably the best (the entire "live somewhere different every 6 months" isn't such a great thing). So, one parent takes the kids and the other parent still plays an active role in their lives. When you don't hate your husband or wife and get sick at just looking at him/her, it becomes a lot easier to do things like that.
Like many things, marriage and relationships with another person are not binary systems. There are many different ways of working things out where *gasp* people can be happy.
