What's Your Career Path? redux

[Kathi Lake]

1963 - A little boy is born. She will later realize that she was 'cheated' out of what was her 'birthright.' She prayed every night that this obvious mistake would be corrected. Her prayers were never answered.

1981 - Through a succession of girlfriends, cousins, and unwatched laundry lines, this little girl has been dressed up countless times, collected plenty of clothes, gotten yelled at and publicly humiliated for said clothes, developed very small, yet noticeable breasts through a hormone imbalance (and thought God was finally listening), joined the military in an attempt to 'drive the girl out of him,' gotten caught during a surprise room inspection with a closetful of women's clothes (blamed on a girlfriend), and basically wondered where this life was going.

1985 - Stationed in Korea, one of the tailoring and custom-made clothing capitols of the world, found a sympathetic shop, where she had many clothes made for her, and even did a few modeling shows in Korean stores. Puberty and the right hormones finally came and visited - though they were the wrong ones. She went from 5' 7" and 109 pounds with very girly features to a 5' 10" 140 pound normal male. Sigh. Very few of her pretty custom clothes fit anymore.

1989 - After many cycles of binging and purging (of clothes!), she finally marries the woman of her dreams. Will this finally be the thing to drive the girl out of her forever? Will she find happiness being a guy?

1994 - A halloween contest and a friend who happens to be a cosmetologist seem to conspire to bring the girl out yet again. Not wanting to look foolish (in the cosmetologist's words), we do everything - body hair gone, eyebrows plucked and shaped, nails, makeup, cute clothes, etc. She did a wonderful job, and Kathi (who had finally found a name for herself around this time), came to the forefront once again, to the chagrin of her long-suffering wife, who often came in from a 12-hour shift to find Kathi at home instead of her husband.

2009 - It has been a whirlwind time for Kathi. Most of her dressing has been at home and in secret due to requests from her wife to "keep it out of her face." Kathi finds this place here, and immediately feels at home. Her confidence increases to the level that she actually goes out dressed as Kathi for normal events instead of Halloween and the like. She realizes that when she is dressed like this, she feels normal and perfectly fine. The fear that others seem to mention just doesn't seem to be there - whether due to a lifetime being the butt of jokes, resulting in very thick skin, or the realization that others' opinions just don't matter. She feels liberated, free, and at peace. She wonders if she is not what she appears.

2011 - Through some wonderful conversations with Sara Jessica, Suzanne, Veronica, and others here on the forums, she takes a real, hard look at herself. Is she one acronym or the other? Is she male or female? Does it really matter? Finally, she comes to the realization that she is happy - truly happy - and makes the statement to Sara in a post, "I don't have to be female to be feminine." Am I he? Am I she? Yes. Yes, I am. I am me, and for as long as I'm happy, that's exactly who I'm going to be. I am, as Sara and others have said, occupying the middle path. The median. Some may think that the lack of one status makes you the other. I'm not nearly that binary. I believe that I am simply me - whether that means I'm a boy or a girl is immaterial. I am almost pathologically sane and boring, and I am happy. Why screw with that?



Kathi

[WillowWriter]

1991-The oddest little boy was born, it was a happy day, but it was short lived.


2002-After starting to find his place, he was over at a friends house, when she decided that he would look good as girl. He did, and it was a good day. He was dressed up for the entire day. He had so much fun.

2004-The girl who always dressed him up moved away, and he was transfered to an Alternative school to help him with his emotions, being bipolar and all. That's where he met his best friend and basically his brother, Ben. They worked together, helping each other grow.

2006-Ben and Will graduated from NSA and parted ways. Their friendship stood strong, but they weren't at the same school anymore. As freshman year was halfway over, Will was having a very hard time, getting him back to an Alternative school, reuniting with Ben.

2010-Ben and Will graduated from Glenbrook South High School, and have the best summer since 7th grade.

2011-Will came out to his best friends, Ben and Joanna about crossdressing and he wanted support. They were more then happy to help.

Now-Will is working for Clearbrook, a special education service for kids with Autism and Bipolar Disorder. He is also working on his writing, writing a new book after finishing his long running book, that fell through.

[Faith_G]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1853280

Wow, this takes me back! The original thread really got me started thinking about my life. Two months after that post I went out for the first time - on Halloween because I was too scared to try it any other time. It was amazing, nobody pointed and laughed, I was gendered female pretty consistently, it felt awesome to be a woman in the world! I did not want that night to end! (story here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ics&highlight= ) I started looking for more safe places to go. I went to one CD support group and did not feel like I fit in there. Then I went to the church whose basement the CD support group used. Not only did I reconnect with God and find healing from the spiritual abuse I suffered as a child, but I met other trans women there. Their stories resonated with mine, their lives and hopes and dreams made sense to me. That scared the crap out of me, but having to go back to being a guy after being a woman was tearing me up inside. Barely a month after going out for the first time, I decided to transition and got right to it. I also admitted to myself that I like guys. I stopped presenting male outside work last February, I even sold one car and bought a replacement while presenting female (that was interesting at the title office). I started HRT around that time as well. In April I told my family (Dad and siblings, I am single with no kids). My family have adjusted except for my brother. I went full-time on July 17, 2010, successfully transitioning on the job as the face of my company in a male dominated field in a very conservative area. I changed my name August 31 and have been very successful in dealing with the legal issues - even my birth certificate says "Female" now. I have had and dumped one boyfriend and I'm currently seeking the next one. Surgery is scheduled for June 6, 2011.

So it's been an eventful year and a half...

Sara Jessica, your comments on empathy really struck home to me. Empathy was one of the reasons I never tried to marry. I knew in my heart what I was, and that it wasn't going away, and that I was going to break someone's heart. I also know that if I was to marry a man and then find out he CD'ed or was TS, I would not be able to stay in that relationship. I would be a helpful and supportive ex, but I would definitely be ex ASAP. Sorry, but I want and need a man. And I can understand and empathize with other women who feel the same way. I just think it's wrong of them to play games with acceptance, ultimatums, and emotional blackmail. Accept the CD/TS wholeheartedly or leave. I would have to leave.

[Sara Jessica]

Living in both genders is a constant challenge, especially when balancing a family that started off unaware of the issue of transgenderism. One of the biggest challenges is maintaining perspective. It's so easy to find ourselves wrapped up in our feminine selves that a sense of disengaged perspective is almost impossible to maintain. Yet, it is most essential that we stand back every now and again to make sure that the rudder is amidships. Sometimes this can be done with a friend, or maybe professional assistance, or just talking it out here might be enough.

...If I might comment on your hair, I don't know how long it is, but maybe you can tap your wife's expertise and compromise on a cut that could go either way? Getting her involved may be the best way

Tina, excellent advice on keeping perspective. Sadly, I have an easier time recognizing good advice than implementing it.

As for getting her involved with the hair thing, she doesn't like to be involved so much other than to say (her words) "I want my handsome husband back". So not only is it a gender thing that is getting in the way, it affects her attraction to me. And I totally understand where she's coming from. Women are typically attracted to men and my presentation these days flies in the face of what she perceives as being attractive.

I still wonder what will happen should my wife one day come home unexpectedly to find me all dressed up. I hope it turns into a non-issue, and that we just move on together. I hope she doesn't make too big a deal out of it. I hope I'm wearing one of my prettier dresses if and when that happens.

Hang in there, Sara. If you ever need to unload, I'll lend a shoulder.

Marla, at least you seem to have found your groove, a stable place where you feel you have just enough time to exercise your femininity. Stability in dealing with this whole thing is priceless.

And as always, thank you for being there and for the wisdom you impart with your words. Please let me offer one bit of advice regarding your wife coming home to find you dressed. Assuming she has never seen "Marla", NEVER NEVER NEVER let her happen upon you If she needs to call ahead at certain times, so be it. My opinion is that if she is ever open to meeting that side of you, it should be on both of your terms, not by happenstance.

[SIZE="2"]Hi - remember me? I believe I was the one who created the original “Transvestism Career Path” thread, and Marla’s branched of from it. [/SIZE]

Yes Freddy, now I see that and I'm so sorry for failing to recognize you as well.

1963 - A little boy is born. ...

...2011 - Through some wonderful conversations with Sara Jessica, Suzanne, Veronica, and others here on the forums, she takes a real, hard look at herself. Is she one acronym or the other? Is she male or female? Does it really matter? Finally, she comes to the realization that she is happy - truly happy - and makes the statement to Sara in a post, "I don't have to be female to be feminine." Am I he? Am I she? Yes. Yes, I am. I am me, and for as long as I'm happy, that's exactly who I'm going to be. I am, as Sara and others have said, occupying the middle path. The median. Some may think that the lack of one status makes you the other. I'm not nearly that binary. I believe that I am simply me - whether that means I'm a boy or a girl is immaterial. I am almost pathologically sane and boring, and I am happy. Why screw with that?

I'm glad you played Kathi!!!

And while I'm good with the label thing in describing what we encounter in this wonderful world of ours, and to help us understand ourselves, I'm thinking that your label should simply be "H"...it could mean human but more importantly, it should mean happy.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1853280

Wow, this takes me back! The original thread really got me started thinking about my life...

And Faith, I went back to read your original post and then picked up where that left off. Words pretty much escape me right now but I'll say that if this were a literal "career path", you'd be getting the keys to the corner office about now. I guess congratulations are in order in that you seem to have found such peace. Taking the path that you have in the way you describe things helps me to imagine the wonderment of the new & hopefully exciting adventures you will experience in living as your true self. I sincerely wish you the best.