http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1853280
Wow, this takes me back! The original thread really got me started thinking about my life. Two months after that post I went out for the first time - on Halloween because I was too scared to try it any other time. It was amazing, nobody pointed and laughed, I was gendered female pretty consistently, it felt awesome to be a woman in the world! I did not want that night to end! (story here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ics&highlight= ) I started looking for more safe places to go. I went to one CD support group and did not feel like I fit in there. Then I went to the church whose basement the CD support group used. Not only did I reconnect with God and find healing from the spiritual abuse I suffered as a child, but I met other trans women there. Their stories resonated with mine, their lives and hopes and dreams made sense to me. That scared the crap out of me, but having to go back to being a guy after being a woman was tearing me up inside. Barely a month after going out for the first time, I decided to transition and got right to it. I also admitted to myself that I like guys. I stopped presenting male outside work last February, I even sold one car and bought a replacement while presenting female (that was interesting at the title office). I started HRT around that time as well. In April I told my family (Dad and siblings, I am single with no kids). My family have adjusted except for my brother. I went full-time on July 17, 2010, successfully transitioning on the job as the face of my company in a male dominated field in a very conservative area. I changed my name August 31 and have been very successful in dealing with the legal issues - even my birth certificate says "Female" now. I have had and dumped one boyfriend and I'm currently seeking the next one. Surgery is scheduled for June 6, 2011.
So it's been an eventful year and a half...
Sara Jessica, your comments on empathy really struck home to me. Empathy was one of the reasons I never tried to marry. I knew in my heart what I was, and that it wasn't going away, and that I was going to break someone's heart. I also know that if I was to marry a man and then find out he CD'ed or was TS, I would not be able to stay in that relationship. I would be a helpful and supportive ex, but I would definitely be ex ASAP. Sorry, but I want and need a man. And I can understand and empathize with other women who feel the same way. I just think it's wrong of them to play games with acceptance, ultimatums, and emotional blackmail. Accept the CD/TS wholeheartedly or leave. I would have to leave.
Originally Posted by My sister Lilli
