Do what you think will make you happiest. There is a broad spectrum and nothing says you can't do both.
Or neither.
Have you sought professional counseling christina s? If not, I would consider it, having a real person to talk with regarding any sort of troubles one may have is usually at least cathartic.
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.