To each their own 2speedTrannny. But your point of view is not very popular. What angers me is when I see someone call a GG nuts or other offending assumptions simply because they don't match your opinion. Then you say she is extremely jealous. Nonsense! She is smart to see dangerous relationship issues ahead. The red flags were clearly pointed out by the OP. Personally, I see jealousy as a very healthy human emotion for those of us that can and do truly love someone. No, I don't mean extreme jealousy, but simple jealousy is one way we react to keeping our relationships alive and well. The wife is not necessarily jealous, let alone extremely jealous. She wants to keep her relationship in tact and has concerns that her husband might be entering into a friendship that could put a wedge between them and ultimately end the relationship. That's not jealousy...that's being aware and smart!

Unlike you, most of us want a sexually exclusive relationship with someone that we bond with and love. In most relationships it's an agreed desire and unmentioned boundary.
As for jealousy being a flawed human emotion, in my opinion you are very wrong. For those of us that are in love and cherish something exclusive (like sex and/or intimacy) It can be very healthy if kept in tact and perhaps even liven that intimacy.
Your choice to most of us (again, my opinion and observation), is more likely to end with someone getting hurt then to end up being a life-long relationship. I hardly call it a relationship.
In most poly amorous so called "relationships" I've seen, it's sadly the wife giving in to the sexual wants and needs of the husband simply to hold on to the shred of marriage she has with a macho womanizing, selfish guy she unfortunately fell in love with. Yes, in some cases it's the husband that gives in to his wife's sexual cravings and wander lust that he can't fill. He unwillingly becomes a cuckold to his wife. Some things like intimacy, are sacred to the vast majority of us. So in the OP's original post, the wife is anything but stupid, she is aware and very wise to see a problem. If the husband is not selfish, insensitive, and really cares for his wife, her feelings and her happiness, he would back out before someone gets hurt. That includes himself.
Your calling the wife stupid is a very harsh, insensitive assumption on your part.