My girlfriend wants to respond, but her membership has not been approved yet. Here is her take on this matter.
It's all too easy to get away with hateful or wrong statements by adding you're being "realistic". I used to have a friend who'd go on and on about "the damn black guys who steal our women" and when I'd call him a racist, he'd reply just that: "I'm not a racist, I'm being realistic". I'm sorry but there are cases where a statement is just unacceptable. If we were all "realistic" like that, nothing would ever change in our society.Originally Posted by linda allen
Being transsexual myself (post-op), I think the matter of disclosure is a highly personal one. Whether you choose to tell or not to tell, the most important thing is that you feel confident about yourself and your choice, and not do it under pressure from anyone (and if you do tell, PLEASE make it safe, i.e. a public place or whatever).
One thing's for sure, not telling upfront doesn't equal lying. As a person you have a right to choose the proper time for such an announcement. As a pre-op I had dates with several men and I always chose to wait for as long as possible before telling, just like any other personal information. With the right attitude ("There's something I have to tell you, I'm sorry I waited but now I know I can trust you with this") men generally answer rather favorably in my experience. Hey, all guys aren't that bad
Zenith, I have no right telling you to do this or that (no one does). I will however say I'm very happy for you. A first date is an amazing moment. I hope you make the most of it and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourself.
Juliette
