Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
Do you think the reason they have no sex with their wives is perhaps a lack of interest in women, and had they come to terms with their sexuality earlier, they would not have married GGs?

Also, I understand you are not their keeper and there is no way you can determine whether or not you are making their relationships worse, unless you actually have a chat with their wives. These wives need to know the truths about their husbands so that they can just bite the bullet and move on from their relationships and perhaps find someone who is into them. But, have you ever considered going out with men who have taken the plunge after realizing they are not into their wives and have actually divorced them? Of course, if all these people are into open relationships, then my comments do not apply.




To both of you: even men in committed homosexual relationships have some sense of propriety and loyalty to their partners, unless, again, they are in open relationships.
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You certainly raise some interesting questions, and I'm not sure I'm competent to answer them. However, here's a stab. I have not dated married men except those who have claimed they were no longer intimate with their spouses, and had not been intimate for a sufficiently long period of time for me to assume that future intimacy was unlikely. Admittedly, this is taking the statements made to me at face value, which requires a certain amount of assessing the veracity of the male involved. I don't think I would knowingly sleep with a man who was still involved in a sexual relationship with his wife.

Regarding the question of whether they are men who might not really be interested in genetic women, I'd have to say that is a fairly strong possibility. My personal experience, which is fairly limited, would lead me to think that the statement that, "Inside every Admirer there is a Crossdresser struggling to get out," has some truth. On the other hand, there are genuinely bi-sexual people who enjoy being married or involved in a serious relationship with a G-girl, who still enjoy getting on the down-low with other men, and who are just as sexually attracted to either men or women or CD/TV. I think Barbara M asked the right question when she said (paraphrased) these men claim to be straight, claim to be interested in women, and treat CD/TV like women, so why are they interested in someone who is, in the final analysis, a genetic man? When anyone answers that question, please call me ASAP.

I'm probably older than you, and in my experiences as a military officer, a lawyer, a college professor and an educational consultant I've come to the conclusion that there are many, many marriages where the partners are over fifty, and no longer physically attracted to each other, which endure because of family, financial, friendship or religious reasons. I would describe these arrangements as things which function as 'open marriages' without any express agreement by either husband or wife. I would, therefore, strongly disagree with the blanket statement that "these wives need to know the truth about their husbands" because in many instances the wife absolutely does NOT want to know anything about what the husband is doing.

Again, starting with the basic premise that these are middle-aged men, in marriages in which the wife is content to have an asexual relationship, with children out of college, I'm not sure that I'd agree it is worse for man to have affairs with Genetic women or Trans-women than it is to drag everything out in the open in the name of Truth, and thereby create a situation where arguably both parties are poorer financially and emotionally and socially. Truth can be a highly over-rated commodity, and like most 'virtues' it's efficacy is often situational rather than absolute.