hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

[ReineD]

"Inside every Admirer there is a Crossdresser struggling to get out," has some truth. On the other hand, there are genuinely bi-sexual people who enjoy being married or involved in a serious relationship with a G-girl, who still enjoy getting on the down-low with other men, and who are just as sexually attracted to either men or women or CD/TV. I think Barbara M asked the right question when she said (paraphrased) these men claim to be straight, claim to be interested in women, and treat CD/TV like women, so why are they interested in someone who is, in the final analysis, a genetic man? When anyone answers that question, please call me ASAP.

I agree with you! Have you heard of Alice Novik (Alice in Genderland). She is a psychologist who also has extensive experience having sex with men as Alice, and she is also happily married and in an open relationship with a GG. This is her take on admirers in the LA area, it's a very good read: http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

The other possibility is, as you say, the men interested in CDers are bi. This makes perfect sense. What I don't understand are the CDers who believe that men who are interested in them are straight and further that they sees the CDers completely as women, but with the "little something extra" that GGs don't have. :p

I'm probably older than you, ...

(I peeked, and honestly, just by a negligible amount. )

.... and in my experiences as a military officer, a lawyer, a college professor and an educational consultant I've come to the conclusion that there are many, many marriages where the partners are over fifty, and no longer physically attracted to each other, which endure because of family, financial, friendship or religious reasons. I would describe these arrangements as things which function as 'open marriages' without any express agreement by either husband or wife. I would, therefore, strongly disagree with the blanket statement that "these wives need to know the truth about their husbands" because in many instances the wife absolutely does NOT want to know anything about what the husband is doing.

Again, starting with the basic premise that these are middle-aged men, in marriages in which the wife is content to have an asexual relationship, with children out of college, I'm not sure that I'd agree it is worse for man to have affairs with Genetic women or Trans-women than it is to drag everything out in the open in the name of Truth, and thereby create a situation where arguably both parties are poorer financially and emotionally and socially. Truth can be a highly over-rated commodity, and like most 'virtues' it's efficacy is often situational rather than absolute.

You are correct. I can only speculate as to how women in such marriages would feel. I do agree there are many middle-aged marriages where the only bond is emotional or financial and where sex is but a distant memory. I just know that I would not be able to stay in a relationship like that. I would want to know if my husband was going out to clubs for sex. I rather think I might feel less threatened if I knew he was attracted to CDers and not GGs, but it still is something that I don't think I could live with.

The scenario I have in mind is, there is a tacit understanding between both such partners that sex is no longer a priority for either of them, and it is replaced by the depth of the emotional bond and caring that has developed over having shared a lifetime of trials and tribulations. If I were such a wife I'd be surprised to find out that my husband still has an active interest in sex and if I knew about this, I would do what I could to rekindle it between us. Admittedly, I may be naive.