Blaming closeted crossdressers for both creating and continuing the negative stereotypes we all encounter on a daily basis in society is, of course, ridiculous. That's like blaming continuing racism on those who don't engage in mixed marriages. Of course, if everyone did so, all children would then be of mixed racial heritage, and eventually racism would diminish and disappear. So if one really hates racism, one would actively seek out partners in other races in order to eradicate the problem.

Sure, if every crossdresser threw all caution to the wind and just opted to out themselves to everyone, the rest of the world would have to take notice, and even begrudgingly accept us. But if idealism really cured the wounds of the world, we'd have no problems to deal with anywhere. But prejudice cannot be cured without gradual change. It took a long time with racism (which isn't cured yet), the gay community (which isn't cured yet), and it will take a long time for the transgendered.

So all you militant crossdressers who are out there beating the drum for the rest of our community, thank you for all you do. I'm glad that your circumstances allow for you to do what you do. For most of us, this cannot happen without causing great pain to us and our loved ones. Look at TxKimberly.....she admitted that her wife lost friends over this. My own wife is not supportive of my crossdressing activities. I do not force her to accept it, either, since she knew nothing of it when I married her. She has accepted that I do it, but she wants no part of it. So out of respect for her, I keep it away from her. This means that except for a few limited opportunities, I don't go out much. When I have, I have encountered no adverse experiences. But unless she is out of town, or I have something I wish to accomplish on any given Saturday, I stay home. There are a lot of things I need to get done that do not mix well with crossdressing, so I limit my trans activities to a few hours at a time, and get on with living the rest of my life.

I think this holds true for most of us. Sure, for some of us this is an entire lifestyle. But for the vast majority of us, this is a diversion, a hobby, an activity, or something that we feel that we need to do, but have to give it limits, lest it rule our lives. So it's part-time at best, and scheduling outings are limited to when opportunity allows.

Some of us pass quite well. Some of us look like truck drivers. It is patently wrong for some of us to demand that those of us who absolutely will never be mistaken for women at even the most casual glances to head out into the world and become gender warriors. The same goes for those of us who have extenuating circumstances, friends, neighbors, and loved ones to deal with. Some of us place the whims and wishes of our loved ones before ourselves, and that matters a great deal to me.