Interview with a Husband

[MandyGG]

I can't thank you enough for posting this thread! I sent it to my SO on his email so he would be sure and read it since he's questioning his sexual identity as a CD. Since he hardly comes here anymore I wanted to be sure he read it. It was VERY insightful and useful. Again, thanks!

You are welcome! I hope he finds it useful!

Then if he hated it so much, why go back again? He says because no woman wanted him....yet....depression doesn't force you to do that. You lower your standards. You pursue harder. You do something until you meet someone. Switching up sexes because of a breakup? Never heard of it, and will never believe it. Deeper issue at work here.

While I agree with you for the most part, in the fact that gay is gay, bi is bi, straight is straight, but imagine how you would feel at 40. You reach "middle age" and still cannot find a woman that loves you. He would go on dates, but never get a call back for a second. He had little to no self esteem. He didn't do it because of a break up. He was never with anyone to use that excuse. He hadn't had sex with a woman in 5 years, with that sex just being out of loneliness on HER part. It had been 5 years before that. So, 10 years and only having sex a handful of times with one woman that wasn't even committed or interested in developing a relationship. By that point, you start to question everything that you had done until then. "Maybe there is a reason that women don't want to be with me?" Then you throw crossdresser and the stigmata behind that in the mix. And don't forget the fantasies that are rampaging his brain. It would have never happened had he met a woman, married, had children.... he had none of it.

Why he tried again? To see if the others that had promised what he was after (being treated like a woman) would fulfill that fantasy.

If you don't mind me asking, how many times did he do it before he decided he didn't like it? Did he try other things with guys in person before doing that?.......Did he 1st try to find a woman who would be down for doing that with him? It seems odd that he doesn't understand it's not that act that defines what your sexuality is, but who you do the act with.........He said he likes women much more. Does or has he checked out/looked at men before or only women? ..............Has he never thought about Lesbians & what they do when dressed? What type of p0rn, if any, is he into? Since catching the Cder bug fairly recently, thoughts of Lesbianism have taken up a lot of my fantasy spare time.

He tried it a total of 5 times. He never tried anything with men before the 1st, and by that point his brain was committed to going through with it. He is not a typical guy. He doesn't watch porn. He doesn't think that sex should be rough and hard with a woman. He doesn't "think" like other men to know how most men "think" about sex.

He couldn't even find a woman that wasn't down to kinky sex, let alone someone who was. Take into consideration that he was, at the time, a non religious person living in Mormon town of Salt Lake City, UT. Mormon women are everywhere, but only dated Mormon men. The few he found that were not Mormons, he would try to ask out and be rejected.

His fantasy of "being a lesbian" was his ultimate fantasy! It was so much of a bigger one than that of being with a man as a straight woman! He would have loved to have found a woman that would do it with him and experience it.

He only "checked out" women. He doesn't find men attractive enough to lust after them. He said that he knows when another man is good looking, like when I say another woman is hot, but neither of us sexually desire them.