Oh Karren don't be too hard.
I wanted to be an astronaut as a kid, after watching Fireball XL5. Then a submariner after watching Stingray (hmmm I'm starting see a pattern here, Gerry Anderson has a lot to answer for).
Obviously didn't quite manage the astronaut bit, but did a lot of scuba diving over the years.
Lesley, just chill out a bit. Put away the soul searching for a while (suspend belief if you will) and enjoy yourself.
Forget the questions, just do what comes and feels right for the moment and enjoy yourself and see how things go.
If you enjoy bubble baths, have lots. Like to dress a bit, do it. If this becomes a part time thing for you and you are happy with it, enjoy that.
More than enough time to worry about any further stuff.
I spent decades in various states of angst, crappy way to spend time.
