Lola discovered something that her husband had withheld from her and she is here trying to understand. There's a big jump between, "Honey, I'm a kinky sort of guy so why don't I put on a corset and we can have fun in bed", to "Ooops, I forgot to tell you that I may have gender issues and I also like to wear forms, wig, makeup, total outfits, and go out in public interacting with others as a woman while you believe me to be at work".
He should have discussed this with her long ago.