I'm really a little confused by this sub-topic of whether or not this is a good site for a GG. It seems that the argument is that GGs would feel more comfortable talking to GGs on an exclusive GG forum... Have y'all ever been to those forums?? I'm going to guess that you haven't. Exclusionary forums are usually excluding groups of people for a reason. They don't WANT crossdressers on that forum. It can be just as hateful as this forum in the MTF section...it seems like FTMs, lesbians, and GGs are generally stereotyped and disrespected on a regular basis. I'm not exactly sure how to show it...you either recognize it, or you don't...I'm not going to draw pictures for explanations. The reason I came here wasn't because I was frightened or hurt...and, I am probably more confused now than when I first came here lol. I just came here because I wanted to talk to other people about it. Again, SOs of CDs that are in the closet are JUST AS CLOSETED. When my SO told me about being a CD...I didn't really care to get involved on any forum. I was reading some book at the time (it might have been My Husband Betty), and it was talking about Tr-Ess meetings. I remember saying that I would feel more comfortable going out with a group of people...but, I noted that members of Tr-Ess were probably considerably older than me and my SO. I also didn't really care to go to like an organized meeting place...with speakers and planned activities. It sounds lame as Hell. I got bored one night and was looking up support sites. A lot of the sites were just sausage fests and webcamming. Most people assumed I was a CD. So, I got a bunch of messages that were like, "You are sooooooo pretty. I have been looking a long time for another pretty CD to play with...but, a lot of people just don't look that good. You look completely natural...do you want to chat?" And, this would be a little awkward, but I would usually reply with, "Hey, I'm in a relationship, but I am open to talk anyone. I'm also a GG...so, yeah...that's probably why I look really natural." And, then, no one would want to talk to me because I was a GG. (In other words, you are hot...but, I really was hoping for a penis). This was before I knew all about "penis fetishes," so I thought it was really very creepy. So, I stayed away from those sites. I also went to a GG site...and, it was really depressing. I understand having to rant...I need a good rant sometimes. And, I like to help other girls out...so, I would read a lot of stuff and try to respond. But, it bummed me out. The GGs here really ARE trying in their relationships...there is a lot of love here. I think all relationships have problems, but who else is there to turn to when you get pissed that your boyfriend stretched out your dress? (lol) The difference is that you can say what is bothering you here, and you will get helpful replies. It's not very helpful to paint this picture that all men are b*stards and that all CDs are just the epitome of selfish, stupid male behavior. It doesn't really happen here...and, if it does, it's usually pretty rare. I can actually only think of one GG that paints that picture for us sometimes in the Loved Ones section....but, I'm not sure she's even on this forum anymore. (She didn't get great reception or support from even the other GGs here). So, then, my SO found THIS site. I got on it, and I jumped right in with it. I liked talking about makeup and clothes...I posted a bit in the Loved Ones. My SO pretty much got the answers that he needed and left. I think he only sticks around to occasionally stalk my journal on here lol. But, for me, it was just nice to have people that I could talk to where TG conversation didn't have to be hidden. I learned a lot about issues regarding the male face and makeup. I learned a lot about breast forms, waist enhancements, and all kinds of other crap. I actually know more about CDing than my boyfriend who is actually the CD. Now that my SO is "out of the closet," I can talk to anyone about it. But, I have found that it is really hard to talk to people about this. It's not that they aren't accepting...it's not that I am shy about it...it's just that I know way more than they do...so, they aren't very helpful. So, in the end, it's just better to come here. In the meantime, I've met a lot of really cool people here that I know I can talk to about anything. And, they are always going to be more helpful because they actually know what I am talking about. Plus, I still have fun talking about gender issues, makeup, and clothes.
So, when people get on here and diss GGs...or, unload trope after trope of sexist stupidity. I'll usually get snappy back with them. I won't just get lost and take my opinion elsewhere, because most of the time I have contributed more to this forum than the person in question. I've been down that road a few times where I get so pissed and offended that I give this forum the finger for a few weeks. But, inevitably, I'll get a PM from people that I like. If it's a person that also has contributed more than 2,000 posts to this community, maybe I'll pay more attention. So, until this site is no longer a "community" site that is open to ANYONE who cares about TG issues...I'll probably be around. If it becomes exclusive, it will either turn into a sausage fest or a parade of Debbie Downers...and, I was only on those types of sites for a hot minute before I peaced out.
This makes it pretty important to me that other non-trans people get a good reception here. It's important to people that are actually OUT in the community, walking around, and meeting people to have a level of understanding from non-trans people. I want people to understand, because it also makes MY life easier. I may not be trans, but I have to deal with pretty much everything that my SO deals with from other people. And, because I was raised as a female...I'm highly aware of how vulnerable we are when out and about. My SO may have no f*cking clue...but, I do. So, it's nice to know there are people that come here that aren't trans, and who may leave with a good opinion on trans people/trans couples. It's how opinions and views of communities are spread. This is why a couple of idiots that are louder than the normal people here really get on my nerves. I always think, "Ugh...that's going to be what someone leaves with...that all CDs are sexist pricks with a fetish for pricks, and who think every GG is jealous of them." This website actually came up in my sexuality class in college, and people used it for information for their research papers. The main forum was ALL that they saw. So, that's why I get my panties in a knot about it. The more non-trans people that are understanding and do not stare at my SO and I walking down the street, the better my night is going to be. I WANT people to come here that aren't trans and leave with a positive opinion. Sites that are exclusive or that focus on f*cking each other rarely accomplish anything noteworthy. I guess it's all about your level of expectation for the people around you. I have very high expectations of the trans community, because I know it's a community under the microscope right now. When people pull back from that microscope and are ready to make their "final judgement," it would be really awesome for me if it ended up something positive. It would make my life and the life of my SO much easier...and, we'd probably be going out a lot more.
