I agree with many of the above posters. Sometimes DADT is temporary, sometimes it is ongoing, but it is always to try and help that wife to understand or live with something they were not prepared for and don't know how to deal with in any other way.
Women are socialized from a young age to defer to others (especially men), to cooperate, accommodate and put others first. When a wife (particularly from a generation which formed pre-Internet, when this social pressure was harder) puts her foot down on this stuff, I don't think she does it because she is a control freak, but because she just is having trouble processing this stuff and gets defensive of is ubderstandably worried about safety.If cross dressing is threatening their concept of what their life is like, then they may try to resolve it by DADT. I think what a cross dresser needs to do is show that wife their quality of life does not change when he is being feminine more often, that it doesn't threaten job security, and that you won't be beat up in the street when you step Outside. Then they need to learn about how dressing may have some benefits to this for their spouse or themselves.
