Sexuality is private but gender is public and this is the crux of the problem.
Crossdressing may be tolerated but it will never be accepted because it runs contrary to the self interest of to many people of both sexes.
Most people like their world to be black and white and easily understood because this requires less work and also creates less anxiety, or so it is assumed.
I think black and white thinking creates anxiety personally as an out growth of the need for security.
Bending gender creates problems because it makes many people uncomfortable.
Even with sex many of the problems start when sex becomes a "in your face" experience.
