Wow! So many great comments and points of view here, and many of the posts resonate for me.

I’ve discussed this very topic with my S/O several times over the past year, way before joining this forum.

I believe that being homosexual is more accepted by our society than being a crossdresser, and my basis for that belief comes from the reactions of gay & lesbian folks themselves that I have either witnessed personally or anecdotally secondhand. I’m in California, the land of “fruits and nuts” to much of the rest of the country (LOL), and crossdressers, by and large, are still are on the fringe of society, behind many other subcultures even here. Admittedly, I'm talking about acceptance by a slice of society, and not society as a whole, but I want to share this.

I have 4 stories, but the one that really rang my bell was the one of my S/O’s former co-worker (let’s call her Katy). Katy was married with children, until she met Cally, who she now lives with full time and is her mate. My S/O was visiting Katy, and somehow the topic came up of a man they both used to work with (call him Jim) about 20 years ago. Jim approached Katy, knowing that she was openly lesbian, and confided in her that he was a crossdresser and asked if she would help with some makeup tips or go shopping. She was appalled and offended that he would dare consider her gayness as anything like crossdressing and flatly refused him. Not only that, but she outed him to my S/O by name and probably has done it to anyone else who knew him. There was nothing about the circumstance that I heard in the story that he approached her in a creepy way or that sought anything but some sympathetic advice with his secret. They were friends when they worked together.

I have directly experienced 3 other instances of gay men deriding crossdressing with contempt, but I’ll save the descriptions. I find it interesting that members of a repressed minority exhibited the intolerance they have fought against, if not personally then certainly collectively.

I also read with interest that a makeover and night-on-the-town service in the northwest said "The only places we don't go are gay and lesbian establishments. Though perfectly safe, those are the last places where we would blend in."

Really? If I went to a gay bar, would they point, snicker and make fun of my boobs?

I’ve never been out dressed, ever, so I don’t really know first hand how the world reacts, but I’m going to think long and hard before outing myself to a lesbian

Thanks for all of your posts- great reading and lots of food for thought.