Personally I think you trying your best. I think you have some ideas in your head that are unlikely to pan out the way you want though... Sometimes when people get into the whole you are not ts thing its not an accusation but a plea to step back...
i think you are right to bristle every time its said, and that feeling you get is good information about how the entire rest of your life is going to go
..think hard about this..
when someone here says "you are not ts" or "you sure seem more like you are "just" crossdressing", that feeling you get is just another version of what every single moment of your male life has been and will be if you stay the way you are...
no one in the world reflects back your femaleness..its death by 1000000000000 cuts.... walking out your door, you wave to the mailman..."howdy sir" he says...thats a cut... walking by the ladies clothes to pick up another pair of khakis..thats a cut... your promises that you make to your family...those will all cut..and they'll cut badly because you will find promises harder and harder to keep...
I hope you can step back from everything for a moment and try for a more day to day life with your family...stop making promises, no negotiations...if you are transsexual events will carry on, thats the way the whole gender dysphoria thing works...its 10000000 cuts..its a grind...nothing happens in an instant
.....if make your life smaller by living in the moment as best you can, you can create space to make progress, even if only in your mind ...anything you can do to defuse the current situation could help...
