"Full stop"? Maybe, maybe not. I thought I slowed things a lot and tried to minimize impact and change. That applies to both therapy and transition. I wasn't being deliberate just for show, either. I wanted to take as much time as needed to figure out what was real and not, to clear up problems (e.g., depression) obscuring the truth, and to experiment to see what helped and what did not, what affirmed my feelings and what did not.
My wife's perspective is that it has been incredibly fast. I think this is only partially due to the fact that we experience this for years while our SOs are only exposed to it late. Another reason is that hope keeps resetting the clock. Thus the same shock hits again and again. Loss and mourning are extended ... but it feels constantly new.
The best advice I received was to press on as I need, but to do it as kindly and gently as possible. You are not going to spare your wife by dragging things out. You do need to hear her, comfort her, be there for her as much as you can, and bear her anger and grief. I think that is quite literally the best you can do.
