As "the guy she married,evaporates" feelings really come out. Some feel that they made a mistake in marrying you[us..]They feel trapped because financially they often are.They realize that they loved the person that they married,but you didn't and have no problem "killing them off"..There are many other thoughts,but this is not the same as a closet case getting caught in panties..We want to "kill off the male" and create the female[not a good way to put that,I know.] So,you have to expect your SO's feelings of loss,as there is no preventing that. By moving on confidently,perhaps your wife will begin to accept that this is what you want for yourself.She may never embrace it,but you are doing it for you,and getting yourself in balance is a good thing. My opinion based on my married life.
