Your situation is mirrored in one of the UK groups I belong to.
These are women whose SOs have decided to dress 24/7 or transition.
This alters drastically the plans made for retirement. The marriage will disappear on transition and a good many women will not consider re-orientating to lesbian. Many have split their homes in half to lead separate lives. Some have successfully found new partners.
The interesting part of this thread is the consideration of identity. This is more crucial than a lifestyle or anything material. As several friends of mine have found, even being out socially with aTS does not allow you to lead the same kind of life as before. Single sex couples frequent different venues and have a different lifestyle than heterosexual couples. Maybe in our sixties we will be the last generation like this, as more fluidity in relationships becomes acceptable. For the average sixty-plus being in a single sex relationship can be very lonely.
For the TS this is not a consideration. Many want to hang on to their partner because they have shared history and family. For the ex-wife making plans and having a social life is more difficult. She is not going to share her female, nor feminine roles and may find it difficult to share a house with another woman!
Think about these relatively simple issues and their outcomes rather than being bitter because it seems, in the short term, that YOU are not getting what you want.
