Elisa,
You bring up an issue that is too common to just leave sitting.
Your GF claims she loves you, yet she can't accept something so important that it's tearing you apart, sending you for "A couple bourbon glasses".
Suppose you were transsexual, would she stop loving you? If that were true, did she ever actually love YOU, or just an image you created.
Your next big question is whether you want to spent your next 30-40 years with someone who can't allow you any degree of your feminine side, won't allow you to shave, and more.
You may be a cross-dresser, but you are also transgender, maybe not transsexual, but still, there is a part of you that needs to be allowed to live, or you will die.
If you had a disease with a 30% mortality rate, a 70% morbidity rate, and high risk of permanent adverse side effects, and you could be 100% cured with some pills, and maybe a surgery, would you GF expect you to die?
30% of all transgenders commit suicide before they are 30. Half try to commit suicide. 70% become drug addicts and/or alcoholics. Of those who transition, at least with HRT, 95% report being happier, healthier, and more productive.
You language also sounds a bit like domestic abuse. You're a psychologist, you know the pattern. The perp finds ways to tear away the victim's self esteem, pushing them to feel shame, guilt, fear, and that they are unworthy. Then they can take control of the victim, force them to do things that make them even feel even more guilt, shame, and fear.
Would you rather spent the next 30 years of your life with a woman who hates you, because you are a cross-dresser and transgender, or would you rather have a woman who loves you because you are transgender? Change is hard, letting go of the past, the familiar, is the hardest part. Even when it's ugly, we'd rather cling to familiar garbage than give it up so we can fill the space with wonderful people, places, and things.
